This past month marked the 81st anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I grew up during the Cold War between the USA and the USSR. In 1963, the country faced what became known as the Cuban Missile Crisis. The Soviet Union began placing nuclear weapons in Cuba, only 90 miles from Florida. Every day, the news said a nuclear war was inevitable. I was only eight, so I didn’t fully understand it. But I remember drawing maps of the United States and Cuba with my friends. Then we would put USSR missiles in Cuba and deploy US bombers above, which would drop bombs on Cuba. We would pretend those bombs destroyed all of Cuba, while the Soviet missiles destroyed only Florida.

Because of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the school began drills for what to do if a nuclear bomb hit Salt Lake City. We would go down to the school’s basement, where the teachers lined us up shoulder to shoulder. But even if we survived the initial nuclear blast, I wondered how we would survive the aftereffects. What would we eat and drink? Where would we go to the bathroom? How could we sleep standing up? But I was only eight, so no one asked what I worried about. We avoided nuclear war through a naval blockade, though it had more to do with neither side wanting a war that would destroy both our countries and maybe the entire world. It turns out that “assured mutual destruction” by nuclear weapons is one of the best ways to preserve peace.

Oppenheimer[i] is the story of how Robert Oppenheimer led a team of scientists to build the world’s first atomic bomb. Known as the Manhattan Project, the team was established in 1939 by President Roosevelt, who recognized that we were in an arms race with Nazi Germany to develop the atomic bomb. The Manhattan Project employed more than 130,000 people and cost nearly $2 billion (about $36.3 billion in today’s dollars).

On July 16, 1945, the first atomic bomb was successfully detonated in New Mexico, producing a 40,000-foot-high mushroom cloud. Here is how the film depicts the event:

Now that the U.S. had such a weapon, the question was whether to use it. The ultimate decision fell to President Harry S. Truman after Roosevelt’s death on April 12, 1945. The country had already experienced D-Day on June 6, 1944, when 150,000 Allied troops invaded continental Europe, which was occupied by Nazi Germany.

Who knew that one of the key components of planning the D-Day attack was the weather forecast? The film Pressure[ii] is the largely unknown story of British meteorologist Captain James Stagg, whom General Eisenhower relied on to choose the day of the invasion. Here is one of the best scenes from the movie:

When asked why the Allied invasion was so successful, General Eisenhower replied, “We had better meteorologists.” More than four thousand Allied soldiers lost their lives on D-Day. German casualties ranged from 4,000 to 9,000. D-Day marked the beginning of the end for Nazi Germany, though it would be almost another year before it surrendered.

Japan, however, was another matter. Although Allied troops in the Pacific had made steady gains, it became clear to President Truman that Japan was far from surrendering. Even the March 1945 firebombing of Tokyo seemed to have little effect on Japan’s resolve to fight. In that raid, 279 U.S. bombers dropped napalm on the city, killing about 100,000 people, mostly civilians, and leaving a million more homeless.

When military leaders told President Truman that continuing conventional warfare against Japan could lead to the deaths of up to one million U.S. soldiers, he gave the go-ahead to use nuclear weapons, despite objections from his Secretary of War, Henry Stimson, General Eisenhower, and even some of the scientists who created the atomic bomb. On August 6, 1945, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima. The initial blast killed an estimated 80,000 people. Many more would die later from radiation exposure. Three days later, after Japan still refused to surrender, the United States dropped a second bomb on Nagasaki, and the initial blast killed an estimated 40,000 people. Less than a week later, the war was over.

But that was only the beginning of a nuclear arms race between the US and the USSR. By 1986, the two countries together held more than 70,000 nuclear weapons, enough to destroy the world many times over. The movie, The Brink of War,[iii] tells the true story of the negotiations between President Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev to reduce the number of nuclear weapons. Here is a trailer for the film:

Reagan and Gorbachev even discussed eliminating all nuclear weapons, but in those initial negotiations in Iceland, nothing was agreed upon. However, the talks did lead to further negotiations and ultimately an agreement to significantly reduce the number of nuclear weapons. Today, there are over 12,000 nuclear warheads held by nine countries, still enough to obliterate most of civilization, especially considering that today’s nuclear warheads are many times more powerful than those used in World War II.

Thus, assured mutual destruction endures.

Today, the United States is fighting a war to keep Iran from joining the nine other countries with nuclear weapons. Since the initial attacks on Iran, we have kept trying diplomacy, but the best we have managed is a few brief ceasefires. Why was President Reagan’s diplomacy successful where, so far, President Trump’s has not? As I watched The Brink of War, three things stood out to me. First, Reagan and Gorbachev developed a relationship. By the end of their negotiations, that relationship had become one of mutual trust: that each would keep his word. Second, they didn’t rely on trust alone. Each side needed measures to verify the other’s agreements. “Trust, but verify” became the watchwords of the two leaders. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, they were willing to compromise. When all was said and done, I suppose neither side was completely satisfied with the result, as they failed to eliminate all nuclear weapons. But reducing the number of warheads by more than 80 percent was an agreement both sides could live with.

Diplomacy is always better than war. That is true not only between nations but also between our two major political parties. Instead, both sides see the other as the enemy, and compromise has become a dirty word. Loyalty to the party is now the most important thing, maybe the only thing.

Do I want to see Iran develop a nuclear weapon? Of course not. Do I want each of the nine countries that currently possess atomic bombs to disarm? Absolutely. Sadly, I don’t see that happening any time soon. Until then, we must continue to rely on assured mutual destruction.

Some argue that we shouldn’t worry about the use of nuclear weapons because the countries that have them are rational enough to understand the consequences if they are ever used. I am not sure the current leaders of North Korea and Russia fit that category. Regardless, memories of the destruction caused by the atomic bombs of World War II are fading, and as my former boss often reminded me, “Things change. People die.”

As British Prime Minister William Gladstone once said, “I look forward to the time when the power of love will replace the love of power,” and the world gives peace a chance. But perhaps, like John Lennon, you may say I’m a dreamer.

[i] Oppenheimer:

• Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Syncopy, and Atlas Entertainment
• Director: Christopher Nolan
• Writers: Christopher Nolan, Kai Bird, and Martin Sherwin
• Starring: Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, and Matt Damon
• Release date: July 21, 2023

[ii] Pressure:

• Production Companies: Studio Canal and Working Title Films
• Director: Anthony Maras
• Writers: David Haig and Anthony Maras
• Starring: Andrew Scott, Brendan Fraser, and Kerry Condon
• Release date: May 29, 2026

[iii] The Brink of War:

• Production Companies: SK Global, 2521 Entertainment, and Designed Epic
• Director: Michael Russell Gunn
• Writer: Michael Russell Gunn
• Starring: Jeff Daniels, Jared Harris, and J.K. Simmons
• Release date: August 14, 2026

According to the Broadway musical Hamilton and history books, when England’s General Cornwallis surrendered to General Washington at Yorktown, the British troops marched to the tune of the old drinking song “The World Turned Upside Down.” I never thought I would long “for the good ol’ days,” but lately I have felt as if the world has been turned upside down.

It began last May when I attended the fifth-grade graduation of one of my granddaughters, or the “Bridging Ceremony,” as the school called it, marking the transition from grade school to middle school. When did graduation ceremonies at all levels become a thing? Now we even honor kids who “graduate” from preschool.

At the end of the ceremony, the school showed a slideshow of baby and current photos of each fifth grader. It also listed what each child wanted to be when they grew up. I was surprised by two of the most common dreams: a professional athlete and a YouTube influencer. I understand the dream of being a professional athlete. I suppose I once had a similar dream. But when did becoming an internet influencer become a thing?

But it’s a thing now. I just heard that, for example, Arizona State University created a new major for influencers. It offers a Bachelor of Arts degree in “Content Creation” and describes the program as follows: “Students will learn to create powerful content across video, podcasts, social media and working platforms, all while building their brand and mastering the art and science of digital influence.” So maybe some of those fifth graders’ dreams will become a reality.

When it comes to athletics, though, I hate to burst dream bubbles, but the odds of becoming a professional athlete are stacked against a fifth grader. To make it to the pros, an athlete must first earn a spot on a high school team, then on a college team. The odds of that vary by sport. According to the US Department of Education, at the Division I college level (the most competitive), a high school baseball player has a 1-in-43 chance of making a college roster. A high school basketball player has only a 1-in-110 chance of playing Division I college basketball. A high school football player has better odds at 33-to-1. The worst odds are in tennis, at 155-to-1. But the odds of making a pro roster are even worse. A high school baseball player has only a 1-in-829 chance of playing in the Major Leagues, a basketball player has only a 1-in-1,920 chance of playing in the NBA, and a football player has only a 1-in-554 chance of playing in the NFL. In short, regardless of the sport, the chances of any high school athlete becoming a pro are far less than one percent. And it’s worse for women, as only 1 in 3,086 high school-aged women athletes makes it to the WNBA.

I recently watched two basketball movies. The first, The Mighty Macs (currently streaming on Prime Video),[i] is the true story of how a small Catholic women’s school, Immaculata College, won the first women’s college national basketball championship. Led by their soon-to-be legendary coach, Cathy Rush (played by Carla Gugino in the film), the tiny school, which lacked even a gym on campus and had little support from the school’s administration, kept beating much larger schools with more established programs. Here is the film’s trailer:

It is an inspiring story about how anything can happen when we commit to a dream through belief, hard work, trust, teamwork, and exemplary coaching. That is how it should be. But now, even in youth sports, it’s less about the team and more about reaching the next level. I see parents hiring personal coaches for their sons and daughters as young as six. To succeed, kids must join “club” teams of elite athletes (and pay ridiculously high fees). Sadly, by an early age, kids are told they must specialize in a single sport and play it year-round, or the competition will leave them behind. This new world of youth sports excludes potentially amazing athletes who can’t afford the costs of playing on a club team and often leads to burnout in young athletes by the time they reach high school. When did we stop playing sports (and different sports) just for the fun of it?      

That first win by Immaculata College was no fluke. In her six years there, Coach Rush’s teams made the Final Four every year, winning the women’s collegiate national championship in 1972, 1973, and 1974. During those six years, Rush compiled a 149-15 record. She was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2008.

In the film Hustle (currently streaming on Netflix),[ii] I watched how talent, combined with an internet presence, led to a pro basketball career. Pro basketball scout Stanley Sugarman (played by Adam Sandler) discovers an amateur basketball player on the streets of Spain. Bo Cruz is bursting with talent, but because he is unknown, no pro team gives him much of a look until he becomes a social media phenomenon. Here is a scene from the film:

Perhaps Hustle is just a modern-day illustration of the old-school maxim that it’s who you know that matters more than what you know. And one of the best ways to become known is through social media. Without that internet presence, Bo Cruz would still be playing on the streets of Spain. Although a fictional tale, Hustle mirrors the truth of today’s world, where there is a place for social media influencers.

But even college sports have been turned on their heads. Under the legal principle that athletes own the right to their name, image, and likeness, college athletes are now being paid for their play. And many college athletes earn more at the college level than they ever would as pros, assuming they could even make a professional team.

It all began when Ed O’Bannon, a UCLA basketball player, saw his image in a video game. The NCAA used O’Bannon’s image in its video game without his consent or compensation. He served as the lead plaintiff in a class-action lawsuit against the NCAA. On July 1, 2021, the US Supreme Court ruled in his favor, marking the first time a student-athlete could profit from their name, image, and likeness. College sports were suddenly turned upside down.

Initially, student-athletes who already had an internet presence profited the most. For example, in 2023, Olivia Dunne, a gymnast at LSU, earned an estimated $9.5 million, mostly from online product endorsements. Angel Reese, a basketball player at LSU, was not far behind, with an estimated $9 million. But Dunne and Reese had already established internet brands, and most student-athletes focus more on their sport than on growing their online presence. Now, though, every student-athlete at every Division 1 university will make something from their name, likeness, and image. However, most of them are not able to secure those million-dollar deals. The average college student-athlete earns around $21,000 from their name, likeness, and image. But if you are a football player in the SEC, your average compensation is $565,000. So, many football players at other schools hope to move to the SEC to receive those financial rewards.

Enter the transfer portal.

College athletes are now free to move from school to school every year. Those who do well at a small college might move up to a larger college the next year. If they do well at the next level, they might transfer to a larger college and do so year after year until they are playing in one of the five so-called power conferences. Who can blame them? Once, a college coach at a successful program could have their pick of the best high school players. But now, those high school players say, “Thanks, Coach, but what’s in it for me?”

Who can blame college coaches for recruiting players from other schools? The University of Michigan won last year’s men’s NCAA National Championship with six players who joined the team via the transfer portal. Only two players with significant playing time could be considered “home-grown.” 

Growing up in Salt Lake City, I once dreamed of playing basketball for the University of Utah. I still tell myself I could have done that if I were 6’4” instead of 5’10”. Dreams die hard. But I would never have played for Utah’s biggest rival, BYU, no matter what incentives BYU might have offered me. That world is gone now. In short, there is little loyalty in today’s world, except in politics, where loyalty to the President or the party reigns supreme. I get it. If you’re an athlete, you want to take advantage while you still can. 

Ironically, Ted Cruz, a Texas senator and an arch-conservative, is trying to “fix” college sports through government regulation. This is coming from a man who has repeatedly campaigned to keep government out of business, and college sports is big business. Some universities have been fighting to retain their star players for more than a year. They have their athletes sign contracts that include clauses requiring them to repay some of their NIL money if they transfer to another school. But those clauses are rarely enforced, as coaches like to poach from other schools as much as they hate being poached from (although I recently read that Ole Miss is suing two of its former football players who transferred to LSU).

And that is what the world has become, not just in sports. Somewhere along the way, we have lost our ability to listen, understand, and compromise. The world has become “What’s in it for me?” from the President on down. The world is different now, and I yearn for some of the old ways. Or maybe I’ve just become a grumpy old man.

[i] The Mighty Macs:

• Production Company: Quaker Media
• Director: Tim Chambers
• Writer: Tim Chambers and Anthony Gargano
• Starring: Carla Gugino, Marley Shelton, and Ellen Burstyn
• Release date: October 21, 2021

[ii] Hustle:

• Production Companies: Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, and Roth Films
• Director: Jeremiah Zagar
• Writer: Taylor Materne and Will Fetters
• Starring: Adam Sandler, Queen Latifah, and Juancho Hernangomez 
• Release date: June 8, 2022

As a teenager, I wanted to be a singer-songwriter. I dreamed of being the next James Taylor, John Denver, or Jim Croce. I wrote half a dozen songs, including ones about an ex-girlfriend, a new girlfriend, and a church missionary companion. I even wrote a song I subtitled “The Great Plagiarism,” combining lines from several popular songs into one. I am still waiting for one of those songs to reach the Billboard Top 100. Sadly, of the few songs I wrote, I can now remember the melody of only one.

More recently, I thought it would be cool to write a Broadway musical. I got as far as the first four lines of the first song. Then last Christmas, I took Leonard Cohen’s hit, Hallelujah, and wrote my own Christmas carol to its melody. But I forgot my own lyrics in the middle of my performance at our family’s annual Christmas talent show. Advice to self: Don’t quit your day job. Oh, wait! I’m retired, so I already did! But I relate to these words from the author Kurt Vonnegut: “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.”

With that background, I got excited when the movie Power Ballad[i] came out. It tells the story of a former boy-band member (played by Nick Jonas) who steals a song written by a wedding singer (played by Paul Rudd) and turns it into an international smash hit. Like Paul Rudd’s character, I imagined the excitement I would feel hearing a song I wrote on the radio. Check out this scene from the film:

The wedding singer spends the rest of the movie trying to prove to the world (and his family) that he wrote the song.

When I finished my first novel, Unrighteous Dominion, I got excited when the feedback from a handful of family and friends who I let read it came back positive. I suddenly imagined book tours, royalty checks, and even a movie version around the corner. But it never happened. So I wrote three sappy little Christmas books, thinking they would jump-start my writing career. I’m still waiting. So I added a blog post about what I learned from movies and now have a whopping 24 official subscribers (thank you if you are one of them, although I get a couple hundred views on Facebook each month). And if you read my blog post from last month, you know I just finished almost 900 pages of a personal history that I realize few people will read or even care about. Yet I still write and am itching to get to my next project. Through it all, I have learned that the joy is in the journey, not the destination.

But let’s get back to music.

What makes music so special? Neuroscientists tell us that music releases dopamine, improves cognitive skills such as memory, attention, and problem-solving, and activates multiple regions of the brain, promoting neural connectivity and plasticity. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “Music is the universal language of mankind.” I like these words of Orson Scott Card, who wrote, “Music isn’t just a pleasure, a transient satisfaction. It’s a need, a deep hunger; and when the music is right, it’s joy. Love. A foretaste of heaven.” This is how I like to describe it: The written word inspires my mind, but music touches my heart.

I recently watched the movie, The Music Never Stopped.[ii] It is the true story of a young man (played by Lou Taylor Pucci) whose brain tumor destroyed his ability to retain any memories, and of his father (played by J.K. Simmons), who connects with him through music.  Listening to music from earlier periods somehow awakened those long-lost memories. Here is the trailer for the film (it is currently streaming on Prime Video):

The Music Never Stopped inspired me to dive deeper into how music affects the brain, and I discovered the documentary Alive Inside: The Story of Music and Memory.[iii] The documentary follows Dan Cohen as he fights to improve the health care system for the elderly by bringing music back into their lives. Listening to their favorite music helps to restore memory and a sense of self in nursing home patients. I am amazed at how alive these patients become when they hear an old, familiar song. Here is the trailer for the film (it is currently streaming on Prime Video):

I am putting together the playlist of my life, which will include my favorite songs from the 1960s to the present. I want those songs played at my celebration of life after I’ve moved on. Well, at least some of them. I am surprised by how many songs I loved from each decade of my life, and how listening to them brings back memories of happy times, sad times, and everything in between. If my kids or grandkids read this, my wish is that when I am so old that you need to put me in a nursing home, you will let me keep my Apple Music subscription and a pair of AirPods.

Here are the words from the closing scene of Alive Inside: The Story of Music and Memory (with a slight paraphrase at the end):

Music gives us something we deeply hunger for, something we’ve pursued for thousands of years, rewired our very brains for. We need music. It awakens in us our most profound safety—the safety of living in concert with each other and our own selves. And that is why, together, we’re going to do this one small kindness [of bringing music into our lives and the lives of others]. [It will] bring life into the places where it’s been forgotten. And together we will listen.

[i] Power Ballad:

• Production Companies: 30West, the Irish Film Board, and Screen Ireland
• Director: John Carney
• Writers: John Crnery and Peter McDonald
• Starring: Paul Rudd, Nick Jonas, and Peter McDonald
• Release date: Jun 3, 2026

[ii] The Music Never Stopped: 

• Production Companies: Essential Pictures and Mr. Tamborine Man
• Director: Jim Kohlberg
• Writers: Gwyn Lurie, Gary Marks, and Oliver Sacks
• Starring: Lou Taylor Pucci, J. K. Simmons, and Julia Ormond
• Release date: October 27, 2011

[iii] Alive Inside: The Story of Music and Memory:

• Production Companies: Projector Media and The Shelley & Donal Rubin Foundation
• Director: Michael Rossato-Bennett
• Writer: Michael Rossato-Bennett
• Starring: Dan Cohen, Bill Thomas, and Concetta Tomaino
• Release date: October 18, 2014

Like millions of other older people, I have become a pickleball enthusiast (or “crippleball,” as one of my friends calls it). I play at least twice a week, and I’m not bad for a 73-year-old. I win more than I lose, and when I lose, I, of course, blame it on my partner. Seriously, I make my fair share of unforced errors. Sometimes my partner and I fall way behind and are in danger of being pickled (losing 11-0). When we fall way behind but regain the serve and the chance to win a few points, I often turn to my partner and say Jim Carey’s classic line from this scene in the film Dumb and Dumber:[i]

“So, you’re telling me there’s a chance.” I have always thought the movie Dumb and Dumber was, well, dumb. But I always remember that scene and the wisdom behind that famous line. It is amazing what we can do when we believe. Or, as the song from The Prince of Egypt tells us, “There can be miracles when you believe.” Believing was a primary theme of one of my favorite TV series, Ted Lasso. In the film Rudy, Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger defied the odds by believing he could play college football at Notre Dame, even though everyone told him he was too small. As I watch the current NBA postseason, the commentators often remark on how much better a player is if he plays with confidence.

We see the power of belief everywhere in sports. It’s hard to win without it. But it’s not just a sports phenomenon. I used to religiously watch the TV series M*A*S*H. I don’t remember many of the episodes, but I often think about the one where the doctors run out of morphine. The injured soldiers are in great pain, but there is no medicine to give them. So, what do the doctors do? They tell the soldiers they are giving them a shot of morphine, even though it’s a placebo. The soldiers believe they are receiving morphine, and, miraculously, their pain lessens.

 There is a tradition in my family and in the church I was raised in of writing a personal history. Most are about 25-50 pages and offer a brief summary of the person’s life. I decided to take a deeper dive. I once listened to an interview with actress Mary-Louise Parker, who was promoting her new book, Dear Mr. You. The book consists of a series of letters she wrote to the men in her life, both real and imagined. Taken together, the letters form a biography of her life. Ms. Parker inspired me to do something similar. I wrote letters to my parents, my wife, Janene, my bosses, God, and each of my five kids, recounting experiences I had with each. Two years later, those letters totaled almost 900 pages!

What do I do with a 900-page tome? I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to buy it. I figured my kids might read it, at least the letter to them, and maybe a few grandkids might read a few parts. But reality hit me. Everyone is busy with their own lives, creating their own histories, and few, if any, would care much about mine. After a generation or two, no one would read even a part of it, and no one would care about me or my life’s experiences. In short, I lost all belief in the project and was ready to just forget it. It wasn’t even worth the cost of toner and paper to print it out.

But then a book saved me.

I recently read The Power of Beliefs[ii] by one of my favorite authors, positive psychologist Shawn Achor. To live a happier, more successful, and more fulfilling life, Achor suggests we develop these seven core beliefs:

• My behavior matters.
• I am grateful.
• I matter.
• I have something to give.
• I am not alone.
• This work is meaningful.
• There is something greater than me.

My personal history now has a different meaning for me. I now realize I wrote it less for posterity and more to strengthen these core beliefs. Kahlil Gibran once said, “To be able to look back upon one’s life in satisfaction is to live twice.” After 73 years, I can say I am generally satisfied with my life. It has been fun to relive and, in some cases, reimagine my experiences, with the benefit of hindsight and, hopefully, a bit of wisdom. Or, as Mark Twain said about his biography: “It is the truest of all books because it consists mainly of extinctions of the truth, shrinkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with hardly an instance of plain, straight truth.”

The same could be said about my letters.

One of my all-time favorite movies is Back to the Future.[iii] Although some of the jokes and gags have become dated, its underlying theme remains timeless: Marty McFly can go back in time and change history.  As you will recall, at the beginning of the film, George McFly (Marty’s father) is the epitome of nerdom. He works for Biff, who bullied him in high school. But when Marty McFly goes into the past, this happens:

That punch changes everything. When Marty returns to the present, he finds a father he hardly recognizes. George has become super cool; even Biff, his high school bully, now works for him. In that one high school moment when George told himself he could do something meaningful to protect someone he loved, he changed his future forever.

No, I didn’t create a scene in my history where I punched a bully to save Janene. But reviewing my life made me realize how much I have to be grateful for. The experiences I had were meaningful and mattered to me and to others. I am not alone. I developed relationships that have lasted for decades. I can do hard things. In short, writing my history has cemented those core beliefs in me, and in so doing, will change my future.

I continue to struggle with Achor’s last core belief: There is something greater than me. I no longer regularly attend the church I was raised in, or I’m on emeritus status, as I like to call it. But researchers of both the believer and nonbeliever variety agree that a belief in a higher power improves the quality of our lives. According to Shawn Achor, studies show that people with religious beliefs live between 4 and 6.8 years longer than those without a religious affiliation, and have higher levels of happiness and mental well-being. And the greater a person’s commitment to their religion, the greater the positive effect on their happiness.

I will save the details of my spiritual journey for another time. Suffice it to say that I have a hope of a higher power, but I cannot say I have knowledge or even a strong belief in one. But I can acknowledge the benefits of having such a belief. In the film Overcomer,[iv] a young cross-country runner, suffering from asthma, finds God. In doing so, she strengthens each of Achor’s core beliefs. Here is a scene from the movie:  

Knowing that we were created and loved by God can be uplifting and a balm to a struggling soul. Although I have not felt God’s love in any personal way, I can still be grateful. And I am. I realize I hit life’s lottery, being born where I was and to whom I was, being blessed with so many wonderful family and friends, and never having to worry about my family’s needs. I wish everyone could say the same.   

When it comes to my letters comprising my personal history, I can say, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance” that others will read them. But then, the real value of those letters might not be for others, but for me. Reliving the positive aspects of my past will have a similar positive impact on my future, knowing that I am not alone, that my past actions mattered to others, that I can overcome challenges and the loss of loved ones, and that, at least for me, my life has had meaning.

I hope, no, believe, everyone can say the same.

[i] Dumb and Dumber:

• Production Companies: New Line Cinema and Motion Picture Corporation of America (MPCA)
• Directors: Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly
• Writers: Peter Farrelly, Bennett Yellin, and Bobby Farrelly
• Starring: Jim Carey, Jeff Daniels, and Lauren Holly
• Release date: December 16, 1994

[ii] The Power of Belief, by Shawn Achor, Copyright 2026, published by Crown Currency, an imprint of Crown Publishing Group.

[iii] Back to the Future:

• Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Amblin Entertainment, and U-Drive Productions
• Director: Robert Zemeckis
• Writers: Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale
• Starring: Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and Lea Thompson
• Release date: July 3, 1985

[iv] Overcomer:

• Production Companies: Affirm Films and Provident Films
• Director: Alex Kendrick
• Writers: Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick
• Starring: Alex Kendrick, Priscilla C. Shirer, and Cameron Arnett
• Release date: August 23, 2019

When I heard that April was National Autism Awareness Month, I thought back over my personal history, wondering if I ever knew anyone who was autistic. I couldn’t think of anyone in my high school graduating class who qualified, although according to statistics, ten of the over 300 in my graduating class should have been on the spectrum. One in 36 people is on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Fast-forward to the present, and I still can’t name a friend or associate that I know who is on the spectrum. Boys are nearly five times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ASD.  Girls are often underdiagnosed with autism and misdiagnosed with other conditions, as there is currently no medical detection blood test or cure for ASD.

So, what is autism? According to the Mayo Clinic, autism spectrum disorder is a condition related to brain development that affects how people see others and socialize with them. This causes problems with communication and social interaction. The condition also includes limited, repetitive patterns of behavior. The term “spectrum” in ASD means there is a wide range of symptoms and the severity of these symptoms. Autism, Asperger’s syndrome, childhood disintegrative disorder, and other forms of developmental disorders are now considered part of the autism spectrum disorder.

What causes autism? Like many disorders, it’s complicated. But one thing we know for sure is that vaccines do not cause autism. In 1998, the periodical The Lancet published a study by British doctor Andrew Wakefield that claimed the combined measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine was linked to autism. Wakefield’s theory was not anti-vaccine, but rather that the combined vaccine should be split into three separate vaccines because the combination was too much for the immune system to handle in some children. Wakefield’s study was based on a sample of only twelve children. Twelve! Since 1998, several large-scale studies have shown no link between the MMR vaccine (or any other vaccine) and ASD. Other studies have shown that the combined vaccine is just as safe as the individual vaccines.

But it gets worse.

After the publication of Wakefield’s paper, an investigative journalist, Brian Deer, looked into Wakefield’s data. In a series of articles published in the British Medical Journal, Deer described how Wakefield misrepresented or altered the medical details of each of the twelve children in his study. The study claimed all twelve first experienced ASD symptoms soon after getting the MMR vaccine. In reality, some experienced ASD symptoms before receiving the vaccine, some had symptoms only long after receiving it, and some never, ever, received a diagnosis of autism! Beer also questioned the study’s motivation. Wakefield had two major financial interests in the study’s results. First, a lawyer paid him a substantial fee and planned to file a class-action lawsuit on behalf of children with autism. Second, the year before the study’s publication, Wakefield applied for a patent for his own single measles vaccine. Neither of these financial interests was disclosed in the study.[i] Tragically, many people still hold onto the notion that vaccines cause autism, including the current Secretary of Health and Human Services.

One important factor in the cause of autism is its heritability. Studies have put the hereditary contribution to autism is between 64 and 91 percent. That means autism is more heritable than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. One thing is for sure: autism is not caused by a cold or distant parent, as was once a common belief.    

Since I am not aware of anyone I know personally who is on the spectrum, I turned to movies to learn more. Probably the most-watched movie with an autistic character is Rain Man[ii] (currently streaming on Prime Video). In the film, Charlie (played by Tom Cruise) discovers he has an older brother, Raymond (the Rain Man, played by Dustin Hoffman), who is an autistic savant with an extraordinary ability with numbers, as this scene from the film shows:

I found it interesting that the Rain Man is a whiz with numbers but lacks basic common sense about them, such as how much change he would have from a dollar if he spent 50 cents. But extraordinary abilities, such as the Rain Man’s, exist only in a minority of those with ASD. Many do have cognitive strengths, but they vary and are not universal.

Temple Grandin[iii] (currently streaming on HBO Max) portrays a more typical picture of autism, as the movie is based on a real person, although she was not formally diagnosed as autistic until adulthood. As a toddler, when she still couldn’t speak, doctors recommended that she be institutionalized, which was the common practice back in the late 1940s. Her mother refused and, instead, began years of specialized speech therapy for Temple. As an adult, Grandin described herself as hypersensitive to noise and other sensory stimuli. She thinks in pictures rather than words, which allows her to remember even the smallest details.  

While spending a summer on her aunt’s cattle farm, she developed an affinity for cattle and became a leading expert on the humane treatment of animals. But perhaps more importantly, she became a leading spokesperson for the ASD community. Here is the closing scene from the movie:

Sadly, Temple Grandin may be more of the exception than the rule. Although bullied as a teenager, she overcame that and other hardships. Others on the spectrum have not been so fortunate. Anxiety affects somewhere between 40 and 60 percent of autistic people. Depression rates are also high. There are substantially higher rates of suicidal ideation and attempts than in the general population. Being different from what most consider the norm can have devastating consequences.

Many people think that those with ASD lack emotions. They often don’t like to be touched, they have a hard time making eye contact, and have difficulty reading tacit social cues. But this is a misconception. Research and extensive first-person accounts suggest many autistic people experience intense emotional responses, sometimes overwhelming ones.

Here is a scene from A Brilliant Young Mind[iv] (also entitled X + Y and currently streaming on Prime Video) showing how an autistic young man finally connects with his mother:

If you want to increase your awareness of autism, I suggest you watch each of the movies discussed above. Additionally, you might consider Jack of Red Hearts (currently streaming on Prime Video), and Please Stand By (currently streaming on Hulu). Or if you prefer a TV series, I suggest The Good Doctor (currently streaming on Prime Video) or Atypical (currently streaming on Netflix).

But those experiencing ASD want more than just awareness; they want acceptance. Being aware of a disorder does not make the world safer for the person who has it. Being aware of a disorder means we generally know it exists, but it doesn’t stop the staring, the bullying, the ignoring, or the pitying. If we accept someone with a disorder, it means not only that we notice they are different, but also that their difference doesn’t make them unworthy of our friendship, love, and respect.  Or, as Temple Grandin might say, “I want people to know I’m different, not less.”

[i] The information on Wakefield’s study can be found in the book, Science Fictions: How Fraud, Bias, Negligence, and Hype Undermine the Search for Truth by Stuart Ritchie published by Henry Holt and Company.

[ii] Rain Man:  

• Production Companies: United Artists, The Guber-Peters Company, and Star Partners II Ltd.
• Director: Barry Levinson
• Writers: Barry Morrow and Ron Bass
• Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, and Valeria Golino
• Release date: December 16, 1988

[iii] Temple Grandin:  

• Production Companies: HBO Films, Ruby Films, and Gerson Saines Productions
• Director: Mick Jackson
• Writers: Temple Grandin, Margaret Scarino, and Christopher Monger
• Starring: Claire Danes, Julia Ormond, and David Strathairn
• Release date: February 6, 2010

[iv] A Brilliant Young Mind:  

• Production Companies: Pinnacle Films, British Film Institute (BFI), and The National Lottery
• Director: Morgan Matthews
• Writers: James Graham and Morgan Matthews
• Starring: Asa Butterfield, Rafe Spall, and Sally Hawkins
• Release date: September 11, 2015

In the Broadway musical, Hamilton, the Schuyler sisters, Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy, sing about the revolution that was brewing in the American colonies in the 1770s. At one point, they sing:

I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine
Some may say that I’m intense or I’m insane
You want a revolution? I want a revelation!
So, listen to my declaration:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.”
And when I meet Thomas Jefferson
I’m a’ compel him to include women in the sequel, work!

For more than a century after the United States was created, women were anything but equal, especially married women. Under the English Common Law doctrine of “coverture,” upon marriage, all the rights and interests of a woman were absorbed into the rights and interests of her husband. In short, once married, a woman had no legal rights whatsoever; she became her husband’s property. Accordingly, she couldn’t vote (most unmarried women couldn’t either), sit on a jury, hold title to property, have the right to wages that she earned, or have the right to divorce. Only in New Jersey between 1776 and 1807 were unmarried, real property-holding women able to vote.

The idea of allowing women to vote was considered insane. A voter needed to be a thoughtful, rational citizen. Women did not qualify because they were too emotional. Besides, the place of women in society had been ordained by God, going back to the time of Eve in the Garden of Eden. But women could rest assured they would be protected and well-represented by their husbands and the government elected by their husbands, or so men argued.

Most people picture Eve of the Garden of Eden as either weak-willed in connection with God’s commandments, or worse, downright evil. But I imagine Eve differently. I see her as an equal partner in the creation of humankind. Part of the negative stereotype of Eve stems from Genesis calling her a “help meet” for Adam, which we often misunderstand as synonymous with the term “servant.” But the dictionary defines “help meet” in part as “even with or equal to.” The English words translated from the original Hebrew go even further. Those words mean “equal” and “to be strong,” as a “savior.”

In 1848, in Seneca Falls, New York, Elizabeth Cady Stanton gathered a group of women and men who drafted a document known as “The Declaration of Sentiments.” Patterned after the Declaration of Independence, it stated that all men and women were created equal and listed many of the grievances of women, similar to those listed against King George III of England. It was signed by 68 women and 32 men. But it would be decades before many of the women’s grievances would be rectified. Charlotte Woodward Pierce, who attended that meeting in Seneca Falls as an 18-year-old, was one of only a few who lived long enough to witness the first time women could vote.

But women did not want just the right to vote. For example, even for single women who could keep the wages they earned, the pay was unequal. Susan B. Anthony, a teacher for 15 years, was paid about one-fourth as much as her male counterparts.

The meeting in Seneca Falls in 1848 was the first women’s conference in the United States. Two years later, eight women abolitionists organized the first National Women’s Rights Convention. One of the speakers at that conference was Lucy Stone, who, in the spring of 1848, became the first woman in the United States to earn a college degree. At the National Women’s Rights Convention, she spoke of women being only “the appendages of Society,” and looked forward to when women become “the coequal and helpmeet of Man in all the interests, perils and enjoyments of human life.”

Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and Lucy Stone became the perfect trio to espouse women’s rights: Cady Stanton for her writing ability, Anthony for her organizational skills, and Stone for her oratory skills. But none of them would live long enough to witness the universal right to vote in America granted to women in 1920 by the 19th Amendment to the Constitution.

There were some partial victories before the passage of the 19th Amendment. Kansas became the first state to grant women the right to vote, but only for school board elections. Beginning in 1869, women were granted the right to vote in Western territories (Wyoming being the first), and in the decade leading up to the 19th Amendment, 23 states had granted women full or partial voting rights.

But women’s battle for equality was far from over.

While in law school in the 1970s, family and friends often asked me what I thought of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment (the “ERA”), which would have put women on equal footing with men under the Constitution. I told them I thought the ERA was a good idea but largely symbolic, because new laws and the U.S. Supreme Court would level the playing field regardless of the ERA. And in any event, women would ensure equality between the sexes. Or, as Helen Reddy sang back in the day, “I am woman; hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.”

Fifty years later, I am both right and wrong. Thanks to laws such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Higher Education Act, and court cases enforcing those laws, discrimination in employment and sports is illegal, and sexual harassment is unlawful. But despite these advancements, women still lag behind their male counterparts.

But let me be clear. I do not believe men and women are the same. For example, generally speaking, from a purely physical standpoint, men are stronger and can jump higher than women. And thus, I doubt I will ever see a woman star in the NFL (except perhaps as a placekicker) or the NBA. But I tip my cap to Olivia Pichardo, who became the first woman in history to play Division 1 college baseball.

But treating women equally is not the same as treating them the same. I agree with Virginia Woolf, who said, “Men and women are different. What needs to be made equal is the value placed on those differences.” I also agree with author Carol Lynn Pearson when she said, “Being treated with politeness, consideration, even respect is different from being treated as an equal.” And finally, I agree with what Jo March (played by Saoirse Ronan) says at the end of this scene from Little Women:[i]

Billie Jean King helped equalize the pay between women and male pro tennis players in the 1970s. Her efforts were chronicled in the film The Battle of the Sexes.[ii] This scene from the movie illustrates how women were thought of back then:

Ms. King’s efforts were largely successful in securing equal pay for women tennis pros. Recently, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team received equal pay with their male counterparts. And just this past month, the WNBA announced a new agreement with the players that will dramatically increase the salaries of women’s pro basketball players (although still lagging behind the NBA).

But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Not too long ago, I read an article in the Dallas Morning News about the pay disparity between men and women. A study analyzing Census data found that in my home city of McKinney, Texas, women make $25,000 less than men among full-time workers with four-year college degrees. My neighboring town of Frisco, Texas, was even worse. According to the Dallas Morning News, the median income of college-educated men in Frisco who are older than 25 is nearly $124,000; Frisco women of the same criteria bring in only $57,389. Nationally, women make 18 percent less than their male counterparts, Census data show, with men who work full time making $60,428 and women earning $49,263.

I realize that equal pay for women is often more complicated than just a set of numbers, but it shouldn’t be this way. In fact, it might be illegal. The film, Lilly,[iii] is the true story of Lilly Ledbetter and her battle for equal pay. Her efforts resulted in the passage of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009. Here is the trailer for the film:

Treating women as equals might require a paradigm shift in our basic attitudes toward them. Carol Lynn Pearson, in somewhat echoing the words of Lucy Stone at that first women’s convention in 1850, describes that paradigm shift as follows:

“Long ago, humanity shifted scientific theory from … the earth at the center of the solar system to … the sun at the center of the solar system. I yearn for the paradigm shift that moves the male-female relationship theory from the patriarchal system (the male at the center of the universe with female orbiting around him) to the partnership system (male and female dancing in perfect balance at the center of the universe). No one is personally harmed by the fiction that the earth is the center point of everything, but this other fiction – the fiction that maleness is central and femaleness auxiliary – this affects the daily life of every woman and every man that it touches and leaves us disoriented, many of us displaced and disheartened, and some of us seriously abused.”

Joseph Conrad acknowledged that “Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.” Men, let’s make that task easier for the women we love. Let’s make sure we truly value them as equals. 

[i] Little Women:

• Production Companies: Columbia Pictures, New Regency Productions, and Pascal Pictures
• Director: Greta Gerwig
• Writer: Greta Gerwig (based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott)
• Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, and Florence Pugh
• Release date: December 25, 2019

[ii] Battle of the Sexes:

• Production Companies: Fox Searchlight Pictures, TSG Entertainment, and Decibel Films
• Directors: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris
• Writer: Simon Beaufoy
• Starring: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough
• Release date: September 29, 2017

[iii] Lilly:

• Production Companies: Flashlight Films, Dollface Films, and Artemis Rising Foundation
• Director: Rachel Feldman
• Writers: Rachel Feldman and Adam Prince
• Starring: John Benjamin Hickey, Angela Saint’Albano, and Patricia Clarkson
• Release date: October 10, 2024

Last weekend, I went to watch my granddaughter play in her season-ending volleyball tournament. As I walked to the court, we passed a table covered with the nine- and ten-year-olds’ participation medals from the basketball league. Now, in sports, you get rewarded for just showing up. My first thought was that, when I was young, there was no such thing as participation trophies. How can kids succeed in a world where failure is common if we reward them for doing almost nothing? Don’t we learn more from our failures than our successes? If so, why don’t we, as parents, let our kids learn hard lessons from their losses in sports?

But there is one place where participation does matter. That’s in the Olympic Games.  

February was a terrific month for sports fans, of which I am one. We had the Super Bowl, the NBA All-Star Weekend, plenty of college basketball, the beginning of baseball’s spring training, and, of course, the Winter Olympics. I admit, I am an Olympics junkie. I become a fan of sports I would never watch (or even care about) if they weren’t part of the Olympic competition. That is especially true of the Winter Olympics. I mean, I hate the cold. I moved to Texas over 40 years ago, partly to get away from the snow. But in the comfort of my own cozy den, I watched curling, bobsled, luge, and skeleton (plus many other events) that I would never try on my own or even watch outside of the Olympics. Well, I could see myself trying curling, assuming my old body could ever get down in that stance curlers use to let go of the stones.

Growing up, every Saturday, I turned on the TV to watch ABC’s Wild World of Sports. I will never forget the introduction of the show, and its classic line about “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” And that’s one reason why I love the Olympics. There are always so many good story lines. There are favorites cracking under Olympic pressure, underdogs exceeding all expectations, controversy over the judging, wild confessions, tales of redemption, examples of courage, and so many more. And the best part is that all these storylines are true.

This year’s Winter Olympics were especially fun for me, as another granddaughter, a journalism student at Brigham Young University, had the opportunity to cover the Games for her student newspaper. I loved reading her coverage about the unknown stories behind the athletes and fans. There was USA’s snowboarder, Faye Thelen, whose first thought when she heard she had made the US Olympic Team was, “I couldn’t wait to tell my family.” It was Thelen’s fifth  Olympics, but she had retired after four to start a family. Two kids later, she returned to the sport she loved. But balancing workouts and family was not always easy, but her family always came first. That family now included a husband and two kids, and a brother living with a spinal cord injury. Thelen summed up her experience this way: “[The children] might not remember it, but I will have memories. We can always look back on that. It’s so different from when I was just a selfish athlete and single, just trying to win gold all the time.” Thelen lost in the semifinals of her event, but her participation alone was enough.    

Speaking of comebacks, consider Alysa Liu winning the gold medal in Women’s Figure Skating. As a young teenager, she was considered a phenom. But she grew tired of the sport, especially with family and coaches always telling her what to do and how to do it. So, she retired from skating. She decided to return, but on her own terms. She repeatedly told the press that she didn’t feel any Olympic pressure because the medals didn’t mean anything to her. She was skating simply because she loved the sport. And it showed. You could see the freedom, lightness, and joy in her skating.  The judges noticed it too and awarded her the gold medal.

The Winter Olympic Games have changed a lot over the years, with the introduction of the “extreme” events such as halfpipe. The things these athletes can do on snowboards and skis while in the air are, well, dizzying. One of the best parts of these Olympics for me was watching American Chloe Kim in the snowboard halfpipe. Kim was competing for a historic third consecutive gold medal in the event. She came up short, winning the silver, falling to her protégé and training partner, Korea’s Choi Gaon. After Choi fell on her second run, Kim told her, “You can do this. Don’t worry about what just happened. You got this. Shake it off.” And Choi did, making her third run a gold medal one. But watching Kim’s reaction, you would never know she came in second. She had nothing but praise for her competitor. For most Olympic participants, it is all about doing your best, regardless of the outcome.

I have forgotten many of the Olympic Games over my lifetime, but I will never forget the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. That is because of the participation of Jamaica’s four-man bobsled team, and Great Britain’s ski jumper, Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards. Neither the bobsled team nor Edwards earned a medal, but their stories were so remarkable that Hollywood made movies about them.

Cool Runnings[i] portrays the story of the Jamaican bobsled team, who almost pulled off one of the greatest upsets in Olympic history. I mean, when was the last time it snowed in Jamaica, a country known for its swift sprinters? In 1987, after Derice Bannock failed to qualify for the 100-meter dash in the 1988 Summer Olympics, he kept his Olympic dreams alive by forming a bobsled team and entered the 1988 Winter Olympics. Unfortunately, using an old, borrowed bobsled, the Jamaican team finished dead last after the first run. But they improved to eighth after the second run. And then this happened on their third run:

Fortunately, no one was hurt. But the Jamaican team had to walk to the finish line, carrying their broken-down sled. But as they did so, competitors and fans alike broke into cheers and applause, honoring what they had accomplished. I admit, I tear up every time I watch that scene. It wasn’t about the winning. It’s about following a dream and doing everything in your power to make that dream a reality.

The winner of this year’s ski jumping competition, Germany’s Phillipp Raimund, won with a jump of 106.5 meters. That’s traveling in the air more than a football field, including both endzones. That alone is remarkable. But then to learn that Raimund is scared of heights made the feat even more remarkable. In 2025, Raimund withdrew from competition because of that fear. A year later, he’s an Olympic champion. And that made me think of Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards.

Edwards dreamed of competing in the Olympics since he was a child. He tried to qualify as a downhill racer, but was not good enough. So, he turned to ski jumping. Great Britain had no ski jumpers on their Olympic team, so why not? Without competitors, all he had to do was land a jump long enough to qualify. In 1987, he participated in the World Championships. He finished 55th, but that was good enough. He was an Olympian.

In the 1988 Winter Olympics, Edwards finished last in both the 70-meter and 90-meter events, significantly behind all other competitors. Here is the scene from the film, Eddie the Eagle,[ii] of his 90-meter jump:

Edwards lack of success endeared him to people around the world, as they appreciated his efforts just to be in the Olympics. Even the president of the Organizing Committee, Frank King, singled out Edwards for his contribution during the closing ceremonies, addressing the competitors, “You have broken world records, and you have established personal bests. Some of you have even soared like an eagle.” 

Perhaps the most-followed storylines for Americans at these Olympics were the men’s and women’s US hockey teams winning gold medals in dramatic fashion against their archrivals from Canada. Both gold medal games were decided in overtime, 2-1. It was the men’s team’s first gold medal win since the famous Miracle on Ice win in 1980 against a heavily favored Soviet Union team. Hollywood made a movie about that win, Miracle,[iii] and it is still one of the best films about the Olympic Games. And who isn’t inspired by this speech made by Coach Brooks just before the game against the Soviets:

Whether we are athletes or not, there are times in our lives that matter. What we do with those moments is what matters most. It is not always about winning. As Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the modern Olympics, said back in 1896, “The important thing in the Olympic Games is not the winning but the taking part. The important thing in life is not the triumph, but the struggle.” Once again, the athletes of these Olympic Games have proven that you don’t always have to win to be a winner.        

[i] Cool Runnings:

• Production Company: Walt Disney Pictures
• Director: Jon Turteltaub
• Writers: Tommy Swerdlow and Lynn Siefert (based on the story by Lynn Siefert and Michael Ritchie)
• Starring: John Candy, Leon, and Doug E. Doug
• Release date: October 1, 1993

[ii] Eddie the Eagle:

• Production Companies: CAMA Asset Storage & Recycling, Hurwitz Creative, and Lionsgate
• Director: Dexter Fletcher
• Writers: Simon Kelton and Sean Macaulay
• Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, and Tom Costello
• Release date: February 26, 2016

[iii] Miracle:

• Production Companies: Pop Pop Productions, Walt Disney Pictures, Determination Productions
• Director: Gavin O’Connor
• Writer: Eric Guggenheim
• Starring: Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkston, and Nathan West
• Release date: February 6, 2004

Everyone has lost a loved one at some point in their lives. I have lost my parents, my sister, two sons, and a few friends along my life’s journey. Because of those losses, I have hoped and even prayed for a life after death. I keep waiting for someone—anyone—to come back from the dead to assure me that our existence after this one is not just an endless nap. But so far, no one has come. But I continue my hope, telling myself it is okay not to know.

There have been many movies about communications between the living and the dead. Some of my favorites include The Others, Frequency, Always, The Sixth Sense, A Ghost Story, and Heart and Souls. But there are not many movies about what the afterlife might be like. That’s why I was so intrigued by the recent release of Eternity.[i] The premise of the film is both simple and profound. After you die, you get to choose the kind of heaven you want, who you want to spend it with, and the age of your life in which you were the happiest. Here is the trailer for the film:

Since seeing the film, I have thought about at what age I would want to spend eternity. I loved my early teens. I loved my senior year in high school. I loved falling in love with my future spouse. I found (mostly) joy in raising children. I love being retired. People often ask me what I am doing in my retirement. I tell them, “Whatever I want.” In short, I have loved many periods of my life. How does one choose?

Maybe even more difficult would be choosing what kind of heaven I would want. Lake Living? Check. Food World? I do love to eat. The World of Sports and Games? Being somewhat coordinated and competitive, this one might have the most appeal. I only hope my wife wouldn’t pick A World Without Men. But the more I thought about it, does too much of a single good thing lead to an eternity of happiness? I fear, instead, that it would soon become boring.

What if my wife, family, and friends chose a different heaven? How could I ever be happy in an eternal realm without them? Or, as my wife often reminds me, “It doesn’t matter what we do as long as we’re together.” And she’s right. I could probably live in hell if I had my family and a few good friends beside me.  

The film Eternity focuses on a common situation. What if you had more than one love? In the movie, Joan (played by Elizabeth Olsen) must decide who she wants to spend eternity with: her first husband, Luke (played by Callum Turner), who died in the Korean War, or Larry (played by Miles Teller), her second husband, with whom she spent the majority of her life. My gut told me Joan should pick Larry because they built a life together and raised kids together. But what about poor Luke? Where is his happiness in the hereafter? Should he lose any chance at eternal happiness because his life was taken early due to circumstances largely beyond his control? It is a dilemma impossible to solve to everyone’s satisfaction.

Most Christian religions teach us that things will be different from the movie Eternity. We won’t get to pick anything after we die. God will pick for us based on how we lived our lives on earth. God is sort of like Santa Claus, keeping a list of who is naughty and who is nice. And there are only two alternatives, heaven or hell. Heaven for the nice; hell for the naughty. I admit, heaven sounds a whole lot better than hell.

The Bible teaches us very little about what heaven will be like, and the few scriptures that do are open to interpretation. Revelation 21:21 indicates that heaven will be a beautiful place with pearly gates and streets paved with gold. That sounds nice, but perhaps a little gaudy (pun intended). Revelation 21:4 teaches us that in heaven there will be no death, sorrow, crying, or pain. That sounds good to me. But John 14:2 tells us, “In my Father’s house are many mansions.” Will some mansions be bigger than others based on how we lived life on earth? If so, will that lead to sorrow because we didn’t keep up with the Joneses? Modern Bible translations have changed “mansions” to “rooms,” but does that lead to a similar issue: your room being closer to God than mine? Romans 14:17 tells us that heaven is not “meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” Does that mean there will be no food in heaven?

I once heard a story about someone who asked David O. McKay, a former prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whether there would be chocolate in heaven. He reportedly responded, “I can’t imagine heaven without chocolate.” I prefer that interpretation over the one in Romans.

Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, held a different view of God’s eternal plan for us. He taught that we have always existed in one form or another. We began as “intelligences,” then became spirit children of our Heavenly Father, then came to earth to receive physical bodies and gain knowledge and experience, and we will one day be resurrected, meaning our perfected physical bodies will be forever reunited with our spiritual bodies. And instead of just a single heaven and hell, there is a hell (he called it outer darkness) and three degrees of heaven or glory.  

But perhaps the most unique teaching of Joseph Smith was eternal progression. He taught that God was once a man like us who progressed to become a God, and that we can do the same. A later leader of the Church coined this doctrine this way: “As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become.” I like the idea of a heaven where we continually learn, grow, and develop Godlike qualities. It will give us something to do in the hereafter. For some of us, lots to do. And to me, that sounds a whole lot better than just playing harps and worshipping God. Or as someone said, “Heaven doesn’t appeal very much to a man whose daughter is taking harp lessons.”

This scene about our little brains from the film Defending Your Life[ii] would support Joseph Smith’s teachings:

I wonder what percent of my brain I use. Sometimes, I don’t use it at all.

But Joseph Smith’s heaven is not without its problems. He taught that to be able to reach the highest heaven or degree of glory, one must become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, take upon oneself sacred covenants, and keep those covenants for one’s entire lifetime. Or, as Church members say, endure to the end. Only a small portion of us will meet this requirement. So, heaven will be a sad place because most of our family and friends won’t make it. But I like what someone once said, “Heaven must be an awful place if it is peopled only by those saintly souls whose company bores us on earth.” I like better how Mark Twain described it: “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell—you see, I have friends in both places.”

I admit, I don’t know what eternity will be like or even if there is a life after this one. But whether there is or isn’t, why are we waiting? Shouldn’t we be doing our best to make our lives here on earth a heaven? How we do that is a topic for another time. But for now, let’s be kind to those we know and those we don’t. And let’s not let our religion get in the way of that. In the meantime, heaven can wait.

I am afraid that, if I do make it to heaven, there will be lots of people in there as surprised to see me as I am to see them. Maybe I will see you there.

[i] Eternity:

• Production Companies: A24, Canadian Film or Video Tax Credit (CPTC), and Star Thrower Entertainment
• Director: David Freyne
• Writers: Patrick Cunnane and David Freyne
• Starring: Miles Teller, Elizabeth Olsen, and Callum Turner
• Release date: November 26, 2025

[ii] Defending Your Life:

• Production Company: Geffen Pictures
• Director: Albert Brooks
• Writer: Albert Brooks
• Starring: Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep, and Rip Torn
• Release date: April 5, 1991

One of my favorite verses in the scriptures of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Section 121 of the Doctrine & Covenants, which addresses leadership. Verse 39 states:

“We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.”

Several years ago, I wrote a book about that. It’s a modern-day tale of a King David-like character from the Old Testament, who uses his power to control others. You can purchase a copy of it on Amazon.[i] But this blog post is not intended as a blatant marketing ploy.

I thought a lot about that Mormon scripture after I recently watched the film Nuremberg,[ii] which tells the true story of the relationship between Hermann Göring, Nazi Germany’s second in command behind Hitler, and an American psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley, at the Nazi war crimes trial held in Nuremberg at the end of World War II. In one of Kelley’s interviews with Goring, Kelley asks what attracted Germans to Hitler. Here is that scene from the movie, followed by the film’s trailer:

“He made us feel German again.” Is that really enough for Germans to end up murdering six million Jews? Did not their moral compasses sound the alarm that such a thing was not only horrific but evil? To be fair, not all Germans were directly involved in the Holocaust, and some Germans did not support Hitler.

In 2017, Leslie Stahl of 60 Minutes interviewed Ben Ferencz, one of the prosecutors at the Nuremberg trials. His task was to try 22 defendants whose job it was to follow Hitler’s army through Eastern Europe, round up Gypsies and Jews, and kill them on the spot. Ironically, Ferencz called no witnesses. The defendants were found guilty by their own records of the killings. Perhaps one can be too efficient.

At one point in the interview, Stahl asks Ferencz, “What turns a man into a savage beast like that?” Ferencz’s reply: “He’s not a savage beast. He’s an intelligent, patriotic human being, acting in the interest of his country in his mind. Do you think the man who dropped a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima was a savage? Now I will tell you something profound, which I have learned after many years. War makes murderers out of otherwise decent people. All wars and all decent people.”

But I don’t believe it was just that German soldiers were patriots following orders, although that was part of it. Some feared harsh reprisals for not following such orders. Others received economic benefits by confiscating Jewish property. But to me, the most significant factor that resulted in the Holocaust was that the German people believed the propaganda (lies) that Hitler and his cronies spread. The Jews caused all their problems. The Aryan race was superior to all others. Germany was destined to be the world’s dominant power. If you tell people what they want to hear, and if you tell those lies often enough, people soon believe them.

The movie, The World Will Tremble,[iii] is the true story of how two Jews escaped Hitler’s grasp to tell the world that Hitler’s work camps were death camps. Here is the trailer for the film:

The first step in stopping the killing of innocent Jews and others was to tell the world the truth of what was really happening. Or, as we like to say today, “speaking truth to power.” But in today’s world of biased news reporting, social media, and algorithms that lead us to hear only what we want to hear, it is hard to know the truth about anything.

The founders of this country knew something about unrighteous dominion, although they never called it that. They understood a fundamental axiom of politics: “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” So, they created the Constitution, which established separation of powers among the three branches of government and provided checks and balances among them. But over the last three hundred years, through executive orders, disregard for the Constitution, and propaganda, those principles have been eroded by both parties. That erosion has been especially true with President Donald Trump.

The New York Times surveyed 35 legal scholars from the entire spectrum of politics (libertarians, conservatives, moderates, and liberals) about actions of President Trump during his first 100 days in office that they believe are unconstitutional, regardless of how they felt about the policy behind them.[iv] Here are a few of their unconstitutional findings:

1. Freezing or defunding government spending authorized by Congress, which the Constitution gives the power of the purse to.
2. No longer treating U.S.-born children of undocumented immigrants as U.S. citizens, despite the language of the 14th Amendment and a Supreme Court case that has stood for 127 years.
3. Indications by President Trump that he might run for a third presidential term despite the prohibitions of the 22nd Amendment.
4. Instituting tariffs, which power is granted to Congress under the Constitution.
5. Deporting immigrants without due process of law.
6. Retribution and criminal investigations against the President’s enemies, whether individuals, law firms, universities, or the press, in violation of the free speech protections of the 1st Amendment.
7. The firings at independent agencies created by Congress, such as the Federal Communications Commission, the Securities and Exchange Commission, and others without cause.

What these legal scholars feared most, though, was not a handful of isolated events but the pattern of authoritarianism they are establishing. David Pozen, a law professor at Columbia Law School, said it this way: “More important than any specific example of unconstitutional conduct is the overall pattern. The depth and breadth of this administration’s disregard for civil liberties, political pluralism, the separation of powers, and legal constraints of all kinds mark it as an authoritarian regime. That is the crucial thing to see.”

Jody Freeman, law professor at Harvard Law School, gave this warning: “The disregard for law is itself part of the agenda. They do not seem to care whether they violate the Constitution and statutes, make mistakes, do irreparable harm. That recklessness itself sends a message.”

How, then, should good leaders act? Section 121 of the Doctrine & Covenants gives us some clues. It tells us that leaders should act with persuasion, gentleness, meekness, and unfeigned love, with kindness and without hypocrisy. Instead, we have a president who, when challenged by the recent “No Kings” demonstrations throughout the nation, creates a video of himself, wearing a crown, piloting a jet, dropping excrement on the demonstrators.

What can we do about it? Edmund Burke is attributed as saying, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Let’s do something. Let’s elect leaders who respect the Constitution. Let’s teach our children and grandchildren to do the same. Let’s challenge those elected leaders who abuse the sacred trust we gave them.

I end with this challenge from Dawn Johnsen, law professor at the Maurer School of Law, Indiana University, Bloomington: “Our Constitution is written on ancient paper. Its effectiveness, durability, and power depend upon people embracing its commands today, with good faith and with good will. If and when one actor disregards or disparages those responsibilities, it is imperative that other actors step up and demand fealty to constitutional norms, lest the spirit of the Constitution be lost. We are in perilous waters.”

It’s time to step up.

[i] Unrighteous Dominion can be purchased at https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Ludlow%2C+Unrighteous+Domonion&crid=1TWULV85ZYAYO&sprefix=ludlow%2C+unrighteous+domonion%2Caps%2C187&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

[ii] Nuremberg:

• Production Companies: Walden Media, Filmsquad, and Mythology Entertainment
• Director: James Vanderbilt
• Writers: James Vanderbilt and Jack El-Hai
• Starring: Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, and Rami Malek
• Release Date: November 7, 2025

[iii] The World Will Tremble:

• Production Companies: Lorton Entertainment, Radiancy Pictures, and UFO Films
• Director: Lior Geller
• Writers: Lior Geller
• Starring: Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Jeremy Neumark Jones, and Charlie MacGechan
• Release Date: March 14, 2025

[iv] New York Times Opinion, “The ‘Recklessness Itself Sends a Message’: 35 Legal Experts Assess Trump’s Return,” The New York Times, April 28, 2025