I loved M*A*S*H, both the movie and the TV series. But I never understood the theme song. The film director’s 15-year-old son wrote the words because the director wanted it to be “the stupidest song ever written.” Here are the lyrics:

Through early morning fog, I see

Visions of the things to be

The pains that are withheld for me

I realize, and I can see

That suicide is painless.

It brings on many changes.

And I can take or leave it if I please.

The game of life is hard to play

Gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I’ll someday lay

So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless.

It brings on many changes.

And I can take or leave it if I please.

From my limited experience, death by suicide is far from painless, both for the victim and those left behind.

I cried when I heard the news of the recent death by suicide of Stephen “Twitch” Boss, the “So You Think You Can Dance” star and DJ for the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Twitch was only 40 years old and seemed to have everything to live for, with financial stability, a beautiful wife, and three darling children. So, what would make such a person want to end his life? Perhaps his friend, Justin Timberlake, summed it up best:

“It’s heartbreaking to hear that someone who brought so much joy to a room was hurting so much behind closed doors. I’ve known Twitch for over 20 years through the dance community — he always lit everything up. You just never know what someone is really going through. Take care of yourselves. LOVE that human in the mirror. Check on your people. Sending light to his beautiful family in this dark, confusing time. You will be missed, Sir. Rest Easy.”

The Los Angeles County Coroner released Twitch’s autopsy report just this week. It confirmed that he did not have drugs or alcohol in his system at his death. A police report filed with the autopsy concluded he “does not have any mental health problems, does not have any financial issues or marital problems.” His wife, pro dancer Allison Holker, told officers that “to her knowledge, [Boss] does not have a history of suicide attempts or suicidal ideation.” Holker added, “Stephen lit up every room he stepped into. He valued family, friends, and community above all else, and leading with love and light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans.” We will never know the pain Twitch was going through to cause him to take his life.

According to the CDC, suicide was responsible for 48,183 American deaths in 2021, a 36 percent increase. That means someone dies by suicide every eleven minutes. We are lucky the numbers weren’t higher, as an estimated 12.3 million American adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.5 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.7 million attempted it.

I have felt the pain of death by suicide and attempts of suicide by my friends and family, although I have never had suicide ideation. To better understand why someone would want to take their life, and in honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I watched three movies dealing with suicide. And if you watch them (and I encourage you to do), watch them in the order I list them here.

The first was The Son,[i]and it was difficult to watch. It is the story of a 17-year-old who suffers from depression over his parents’ divorce and his father’s remarriage. The adults in the son’s life try to understand and help him, but nothing seems to help much. Here is a scene from the film:

The question “Why?” always haunts us when a death by suicide occurs.

One of the most challenging scenes from the movie is how the son, after a suicide attempt, works his parents to get released from a hospital’s behavioral unit before he is mentally ready. And the results are disastrous for all involved. I have experienced how those with mental illness learn the right things to say and how to act to demonstrate that they are no longer a danger to themselves and others. And it is easy to give them their way. For caregivers of those struggling with mental illness, we sometimes need to put aside our emotions and do what is best for them, even at the expense of damaging the relationship with someone we love. And what’s best is often placing them in a facility. But easier said than done.

In The Skeleton Twins,[ii] twins Maggie and Milo reunite after ten years apart due to each attempting suicide. Milo considers his attempt to be just another cliché of another death by suicide of a gay man. Maggie can’t figure out why she is so unhappy when her life appears to be going so well. In this scene, Milo and Maggie talk seriously for the first time after ten years of estrangement:

In my favorite scene from the film, Maggie and Milo have another deep discussion, this one focusing on Milo, that goes like this:

Maggie: What’s going on?

Milo: You wouldn’t understand.

Maggie: Try me. You might be surprised.

Milo: I get depressed about my life, and I do stupid things. That’s it.

Maggie: We all get sad about our lives, Milo. That doesn’t mean we go jumping off of rooftops.

Milo: I wasn’t going to jump.

Maggie: Oh, well, how do I know that?

Milo: Okay, I’m sorry.

Maggie: I can’t take this, Milo. I can’t right now. I can’t.

Milo: Hey, I’m sorry. Do you remember Justin Meyer? In eighth grade—jock, asshole, he used to f*** with me all the time? Dad, he told me guys like Justin, that high school is the best it’s ever going to get for them. You know, they’re going to peak in high school, and the rest of their life is just going to be a disappointment. And that a kid like me—that I would soar after high school. And in fact, I would fast-forward ten years into the future, and I would think about, you know, our high school reunion and seeing Justin, and he would just be this fat, balding guy who’s an assistant manager at some sporting goods store, and I would be a famous actor who lives in LA or New York and who has this beautiful boyfriend, and I’m happy. You know, I looked Justin up online, and you know what he’s doing now? He’s an electrician. And he has two beautiful daughters and a pretty wife, and he’s happy. And it turns out that—it just turns out that I’m the one who peaked in high school. You know, if that’s not depressing, then….

Maggie: So that’s it, sweetie? You’re not a famous actor? Because I’ve got news for you. No one’s a famous actor.

Milo: George Clooney’s a famous actor.

Maggie: Okay, George Clooney, I guess that’s one exception. But the rest of us are just walking around trying not to be disappointed with the way that our lives turned out. And either we find a way to deal or …. I need to know you’re not going to check out on me.

Milo: I’ll do my best.

Our lives never look that great when we compare them to others. And that is one of the dangers of social media, where everyone puts their best foot forward. And our lives rarely measure up to our dreams. But, as Maggie says, that doesn’t mean we should jump off buildings.

In A Man Called Otto,[iii] Otto is grieving over the death of his wife, whom he has cared for over many years. With her gone, he sees no purpose in his life and decides to join his wife through death by suicide. I never considered grief a mental illness, but the pain and trauma of losing a close loved one can cause us to lose our grip on reality. In this scene, Otto, a stickler for rules and on the edge of obsessive-compulsive disorder, goes to the hardware store to purchase a rope to be used as a noose:

But Otto’s several attempts at ending his life all fail. And when a new family moves into the neighborhood, things change. In this scene, Otto opens up about his grief to his new neighbor:

And therein lies a key to helping those considering death by suicide. We need to give them a reason to live for. At the end of The Skeleton Twins, Milo saves Maggie from her attempt, telling her he will always be there for her. Otto realizes he still has work to do, helping his neighbors. Regardless of how dull or disappointing our lives turn out, we can find something or someone to live for.

To repeat the words of Justin Timberlake, “You just never know what someone is really going through. Take care of yourselves. LOVE that human in the mirror. Check on your people.” The best way to prevent a death by suicide is to stay close to those we love. Talk to them. Learn what’s eating at them. Be vulnerable, and they will reciprocate.

And most important of all, if you have thoughts of self-harm, get the help you need—and deserve, as all life is precious, even your own.  

---

[i] The Son:

• Production Companies: See-Saw Films, Ciné@, and Embankment Films
• Director: Florian Zeller
• Screenwriters: Florian Zeller and Christopher Hampton
• Starring: Hugh Jackman, Laura Dern, and Vanessa Kirby
• Release date: January 20, 2023

[ii] The Skeleton Twins:

• Production Companies: Duplass Brothers Productions and Venture Forth
• Director: Craig Johnson
• Screenwriters: Craig Johnson and Mark Heyman
• Starring: Kristin Wiig, Bill Hader, and Luke Wilson
• Release date: September 11, 2014

[iii] A Man Called Otto:

• Production Companies: 2DUX, Artistic Films, and Big Indie Pictures
• Director: Marc Forster
• Screenwriters: Fredrik Backman, Hannes Holm, and David Magee
• Starring: Tom Hanks, Mariana Treviño, and Rachel Keller
• Release date: January 13, 2023

Growing up playing games and sports, I often heard the opposite: “Cheaters never win.” And I believed it. But the older I got, the more I realized cheaters do win—unless they get caught.

The first time I remember getting caught cheating was when I was ten years old. I didn’t do the cheating, but I bore the brunt of getting caught. I played on a youth baseball team that tied with two others for first place in the league. The first-place team would go on to play in a citywide tournament. But since we had a three-way tie for first and not enough time for a playoff, the league decided to take the five best players from each team to form our tournament entrant. Essentially, then, we were an all-star team. And we played like one. We won our first game, 15 to 1, and our second game, 23 to 0. But a player on our team had a cousin on the team we had walloped 23 to zip, and they got talking. When the tournament officials learned we cheated by forming an all-star team, they disqualified us from further play.

As a ten-year-old, I was devasted. I wanted to win that tournament badly, and we had the team to do it. Never mind that we violated the rules. As I got older and thought back on that team, I realized winning the tournament would not mean much because we had an unfair advantage over the competition. But for many competitive athletes, that doesn’t seem to matter, as cheating means you are more intelligent and, therefore, better than the competition. And so, cheating in sports has been rampant at every level, from youth leagues to high school, college, and professional ranks.

The Dallas Mavericks recently got caught cheating, although they did little to hide what they were doing. The NBA has an anti-tanking rule. The NBA instigated it to keep teams from intentionally losing games to get a higher draft pick. The Mavericks had traded away this year’s first-round draft pick, but it was top-ten protected, meaning, if the team’s lack of success resulted in the Mavericks’ first-round pick being ten or better, the team would keep it. Going into the second to last game of the regular season and still having a chance to be in the “play-in” tournament to make the playoffs, the team’s management decided to “rest” its five best players. A loss would likely ensure the team would finish as the league’s tenth-worst team (and keep their draft pick). The team’s star, Luka Dončić, refused to sit, but the team allowed him to play only the first quarter. And as the game progressed, those Mavericks who played well found themselves sitting on the bench for the second half. When it was all over, the five players on the court were the Mavericks’ five worst players (although they played hard and almost pulled out a win, missing two game-tying three-pointers at the buzzer).

The NBA was not pleased and fined the Mavericks $750,000. That might sound like a lot, but the team’s owner, Mark Cuban, has a net worth is $5.1 billion. How much is five billion? Without considering interest earned or the appreciation of his assets, Cuban could give $100,000 A DAY to charity, and it would take him 137 years to deplete his funds. So, how hurtful was the NBA’s fine of $750,000? Not much. If Cuban’s net worth were only one million (still more than many of us), the penalty would proportionally amount to a measly $150. Who wouldn’t gladly pay that to preserve a top draft pick?

Sports are replete with examples of cheating. Here are a few of the most outrageous—at least where the cheaters got caught:

An investigation of the Houston Astros, who won the 2017 World Series, revealed the team had used technology to steal signs, resulting in their batters knowing what type of pitch the opposing pitcher was about to throw. Although stealing signs is a baseball tradition, using technology crossed the line. As a result, the team’s manager lost his job, and the Astros lost future draft picks. But maybe the worst punishment was that most people (except Astros fans) consider their championship tainted.

Baseball pitchers have a long history of doctoring the baseball to make their pitches move in unusual ways and, therefore, harder to hit. Recently, umpires ejected Mets pitcher Max Scherzer for having a pitching hand that was too sticky. As a result, the league suspended Scherzer for ten games (although, as a starting pitcher, Scherzer will miss only two starts).

In 2007, the NFL caught the New England Patriots videotaping the opposing team’s signals. The league took away its first-round draft pick and fined the Patriots $250,000 and their coach $500,000. In 2015, the NFL discovered the Patriots deflated footballs below league standards during the playoffs, making the balls easier to throw and catch (each team uses its own game balls when on offense). The league fined the Patriots $1 million, took away draft picks, and suspended their quarterback, Tom Brady, for four games (although a judge later overturned his suspension).

During the 2020-2011 NFL season, the New Orleans Saints put “bounties” on opposing players. If their defense injured a specific opponent, the Saints paid its player a bounty. Someone recorded Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams placing a bounty on Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback Brett Favre in the 2011 NFC championship game. The league suspended Williams indefinitely and head coach Sean Peyton for the entire 2012 season.

What did Sean Peyton do for the 2012 season? He returned to Argyle, Texas, and coached his son’s youth football team. It sounds like a perfect plotline for a Disney movie. And that’s what happened. Here are a compilation of scenes from Home Team[i] in which Coach Peyton and his son get to know each other better:

Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France seven times, but officials ultimately stripped him of those titles when they discovered Armstrong had been doping the whole time. He also lost several major sponsorships. One of the best movies about the scandal is The Program.[ii] Here is a terrific scene from the film:

And speaking of doping, many professional baseball players have used performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs). During the “Steroid Era” (from 1994 to 2004), experts estimate that anywhere from 25 to 80 percent of players used PEDs. Here are some more famous ones: Jose Canseco, Ken Caminiti, Alex Rodriguez, Mark McGuire, Rafael Palmeiro, Jason Giambi, and Manny Ramirez. Others suspected of using PEDs but have denied it include Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Roger Clemens.

Screwball[iii] is an entertaining documentary about the scandal. Here is its trailer:

Spain won the gold medal for basketball at the 2000 Paralympics. But officials later discovered ten of their twelve players had deliberately failed an IQ test, allowing them to play as disabled, even though they were not. So the officials stripped the team of its title and ordered team members to return their medals.

Rosie Ruiz won the 1980 Boston Marathon. Later, officials stripped her of her title when they discovered she left the race, took the subway, then got back into the race miles later. Her time was twenty minutes faster than her previous best. Ruiz continues to deny she cheated.

College sports are big businesses with extreme pressure to recruit the best athletes. And so, not surprisingly, college athletics have historically been cheating hotbeds. Or, as former UNLV basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian said, “Nine out of ten schools are cheating. The other one is in last place.”

One of the most infamous college football recruiting scandals was the Southern Methodist University’s Mustangs, known as the Pony Express, because they had recruited the best running backs in the nation, Eric Dickerson and Craig James. Or, as they became known, “The Best Team Money Could Buy.” The irony of a school founded by a religion was not lost on me. But it all came tumbling down. Here is the trailer from Pony Excess,[iv] a documentary that follows the rise and fall of SMU’s football program:

W.C. Fields once said, “Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.” I believe he was joking, but we all must ask ourselves how important winning is to us. Is it worth destroying our character? I love what legendary college football coach Bear Bryant said about winning and character: “Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself.”

I like what football great Aaron Rodgers said: “Authenticity is everything! You have to wake up every day and look in the mirror, and you want to be proud of the person who’s looking back at you. And you can only do that if you’re being honest with yourself and being a person of high character. You have an opportunity every single day to write that story of your life.”

Each of us looks into the mirror every day. So I hope we take Rodger’s advice to heart.

---

[i] Home Team:

• Production Companies: Happy Madison Productions and Hey Eddie
• Directors: Charles Kinnane and Danield Kinnane
• Screenwriters: Chris Titone and Keith Blum
• Starring: Kevin James, Taylor Lautner, and Rob Schneider
• Release date: January 28, 2022

[ii] The Program:

• Production Companies: Anton, Momentum Pictures, and StudioCanal
• Director: Steven Frears
• Screenwriter: John Hodge (based on the book by David Walsh)
• Starring: Ben Foster, Chris O’Dowd, and Guillaume Canet
• Release date: March 18, 2016

[iii] Screwball:

• Production Companies: Rakontur
• Director: Billy Corben
• Screenwriters: Billy Corben and David Cypkin
• Starring: Frankie Diaz, Bryan Blanco, and Ian Mackles
• Release date: March 29, 2019

[iv] Pony Excess:

• Production Companies: DLP Entertainment, DLP Media Group, ESPN
• Director: Thaddeus D.  Matula
• Starring: Fred Akers, Dick Anderson, and Ken Andrews
• Release date: December 11, 2010

In high school, I performed a song from the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun. The show tells the life of Annie Oakley, one of the best sharpshooters ever. The song pitted Annie against her soon-to-be boyfriend and, later, husband, Frank Butler. Oakley and Butler claimed they could one-up the other from shooting a partridge with a single cartridge to jumping a hurdle in a girdle. But men and women had argued about their abilities long before Irving Berlin wrote the song and long since after.

In law school in the 1970s, family and friends often asked me what I thought of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment (the “ERA”), which would have put women on equal footing with men. I lived in Utah at the time, and it being an ultra-conservative state and the headquarters of the conservative, dominant religion, most were against it. I told them I thought the ERA was a good idea but largely symbolic because new laws and the U.S. Supreme Court would level things regardless of the ERA. And in any event, women would make sure equality between the sexes would happen. Or, as Helen Reddy sang back in the day, “I am woman; hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.”

Fifty years later, I am both right and wrong. Thanks to laws such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Higher Education Act, and court cases enforcing those laws, discrimination in employment and sports is illegal, and sexual harassment is unlawful. But despite these advancements, women still lag behind their male counterparts.

But let me be clear. I do not believe men and women are the same. For example, although women have beaten me occasionally in arm wrestling, generally speaking, from a purely physical standpoint, men are stronger and can jump higher than women. And thus, I doubt I will ever see a woman star in the NFL (except perhaps as a placekicker) or the NBA. But I tip my cap to Olivia Pichardo who became the first woman in history to play Division 1 college baseball.

But treating women equally is not the same as treating them the same. I agree with Virginia Woolf, who said, “Men and women are different. What needs to be made equal is the value placed on those differences.” I also agree with author Carol Lynn Pearson when she said, “Being treated with politeness, consideration, even respect is different from being treated as an equal.” And finally, I agree with what Jo March (played by Saoirse Ronan) says at the end of this scene from Little Women:[i]

I know from experience that women have ambition and talent. And, like Dr. Claudia L. Bushman, I am one “who believes that all of the talents and abilities of women should be developed for the benefit of themselves, their families, and their communities.” That, according to Dr. Bushman, makes me a feminist. So be it.

This month is Women’s History Month, and I have tried to honor trailblazing women and discuss women’s issues in this blog in the past.[ii] But let’s look closer at where women might still fall short of men.

In the film, The Glorias,[iii] Gloria Steinem wants her editors to consider her a serious journalist like her male counterparts. Instead, her editors give her puff pieces about things her male editors think women might find appealing (but not men). Even after she creates a stir by posing as a Playboy bunny to report on their dreadful working conditions, her editors still don’t take her seriously. So, she does what many strong women would do—she starts her own women’s magazine. And thus, she created Ms. magazine. Here is the trailer for the film:

If you lived during the 70s, you’d find the movie a fun trip down memory lane.

Sadly, sexual harassment still exists in a big way, despite the advances of the #MeToo movement. Here is a clip from the movie, Bombshell[iv] that chronicles the sexual harassment that took place not too long ago at Fox News:

Perhaps surprisingly, one of the worst industries for the discrimination of women is the entertainment industry. Repeatedly, from the 70s to today, as women made strides in their fight for equal rights, people said, “This changes everything.” But in the film industry, nothing changed much. The film This Changes Everything[v] chronicles the battle for women’s equal rights in the film industry. Here is the trailer for the film:

Here are nine facts from This Changes Everything:

1. As of 2018, in almost a century, only one woman won the Academy Award for best director (Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker in 2009).
2. In 2018, almost 78 percent of reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes were male.
3. Out of the top 101 top-grossing G-Rated films from 1990 to 2005, 72 percent of all speaking parts were male. In addition, four out of five narrators were male.
4. In G-Rated films, female characters are three times more likely to be shown in sexually revealing clothing than male characters.
5. In the top 100 grossing films in 2017, male characters received twice as much screen time as female leads.
6. Between 1949 and 1979, only one-half of one percent of director assignments went to women.
7. In 2018, half of all movies failed the “Bechtel Test”: Does a movie have at least two women conversing about something other than men? Half of the 2018 movies failed, even though the conversation between the two women could be as ordinary as discussing the color of their nail polish.
8. In films in general, since 1946, the ratio of male to female characters has remained at three to one.
9. Of the top 100 grossing films in 2018, 85 percent of the screenwriters were male.

This Changes Everything came out in 2018, and women in the film industry have made little progress since then. For example, since 2009, when Kathryn Bigelow became the first female director to win the Best Director Oscar, there have been 65 nominations for Best Director, but only four were women. But two of them won the Oscar, so maybe that’s progress.

Billie Jean King helped equalize the pay between women and male pro tennis players in the 1970s. And recently, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team got equal pay compared to their male counterparts. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Recently I read an article in the Dallas Morning News about the pay disparity between men and women. A study analyzing Census data found that in my home city of McKinney, Texas, women make $25,000 less than men among full-time workers with four-year college degrees. My neighboring town of Frisco, Texas, was even worse. According to the Dallas Morning News, the median income of men living in Frisco who are college-educated and older than 25 is nearly $124,000; Frisco women of the same criteria bring in only $57,389. Nationally, women make 18 percent less than their male counterparts, Census data show, with men that work full time making $60,428 and women earning $49,263.

I am a big believer in merit. We should pay workers based on how they perform, not their gender. If the Census data are correct, though, something besides merit appears to be driving workers’ pay.

Let’s give women their due, whether in the sports world, the business world, the entertainment industry, or to those women probably least appreciated—the stay-at-home wife and mother. Or, as Billie Jean King (played by Emma Stone) said in Battle of the Sexes: “I’m not saying women are better. I’ve never said that. I’m saying we deserve some respect.”

I, for one, agree.

---

[i] Little Women:

• Production Companies: Columbia Pictures, New Regency Productions, and Pascal Pictures
• Director: Greta Gerwig
• Screenwriter: Greta Gerwig (based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott)
• Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, and Florence Pugh
• Release date: December 25, 2019

[ii] Here are links to my blog honoring women and the films about them:

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2016/12/  (Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/08/01/am-i-strong-enough-to-be-your-man/ (Disney princesses)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/10/14/take-a-knee/ (Billy Jean King in Battle of the Sexes)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/12/15/a-movement-not-just-a-moment/ (North Country, a fictional account of the first successful major sexual harassment case dramatizing the hostile work environment of female mineworkers in Minnesota)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/12/15/a-movement-not-just-a-moment/ (the women of Suffragette, Hidden Figures, and Made in Dagenham)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2018/05/01/fingered/ (Sexual abuse of the US Women’s Gymnastics team)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2019/01/ (Ruth Bader Ginsburg in On the Basis of Sex)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2020/09/ (Sex trafficking)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2022/12/ (Till and She Said)

[iii] The Glorias:

• Production Companies: Artemis Rising Foundation, Saks Pictures, and The Glorias
• Director: Julie Taymor
• Screenwriters: Julie Taymor and Sarah Ruhl (based on the book My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem)
• Starring: Julianne Moore, Alicia Vikander, and Janelle Monáe
• Release date: September 30, 2020

[iv] Bombshell: 

• Production Companies: Creative Wealth Media Finance, Annapurna Pictures, and BRON Studios
• Director: Jay Roach
• Screenwriter: Charles Randolph
• Starring: Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and Margot Robbie
• Release date: December 20, 2019

[v] This Changes Everything:

• Production Companies: CCV Studios, CreativeChaos vmg
• Director: Tom Donahue
• Screenwriter: Documentary
• Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Mira Nair, and Shonda Rhimes
• Release date: October 31, 2019

In high school, I performed a song from the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun. The show tells the life of Annie Oakley, one of the best sharpshooters ever. The song pitted Annie against her soon-to-be boyfriend and, later, husband, Frank Butler. Oakley and Butler claimed they could one-up the other from shooting a partridge with a single cartridge to jumping a hurdle in a girdle. But men and women had argued about their abilities long before Irving Berlin wrote the song and long since after.

In law school in the 1970s, family and friends often asked me what I thought of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment (the “ERA”), which would have put women on equal footing with men. I lived in Utah at the time, and it being an ultra-conservative state and the headquarters of the conservative, dominant religion, most were against it. I told them I thought the ERA was a good idea but largely symbolic because new laws and the U.S. Supreme Court would level things regardless of the ERA. And in any event, women would make sure equality between the sexes would happen. Or, as Helen Reddy sang back in the day, “I am woman; hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.”

Fifty years later, I am both right and wrong. Thanks to laws such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Higher Education Act, and court cases enforcing those laws, discrimination in employment and sports is illegal, and sexual harassment is unlawful. But despite these advancements, women still lag behind their male counterparts.

But let me be clear. I do not believe men and women are the same. For example, although women have beaten me occasionally in arm wrestling, generally speaking, from a purely physical standpoint, men are stronger and can jump higher than women. And thus, I doubt I will ever see a woman star in the NFL (except perhaps as a placekicker) or the NBA. But I tip my cap to Olivia Pichardo who became the first woman in history to play Division 1 college baseball.

But treating women equally is not the same as treating them the same. I agree with Virginia Woolf, who said, “Men and women are different. What needs to be made equal is the value placed on those differences.” I also agree with author Carol Lynn Pearson when she said, “Being treated with politeness, consideration, even respect is different from being treated as an equal.” And finally, I agree with what Jo March (played by Saoirse Ronan) says at the end of this scene from Little Women:[i]

I know from experience that women have ambition and talent. And, like Dr. Claudia L. Bushman, I am one “who believes that all of the talents and abilities of women should be developed for the benefit of themselves, their families, and their communities.” That, according to Dr. Bushman, makes me a feminist. So be it.

This month is Women’s History Month, and I have tried to honor trailblazing women and discuss women’s issues in this blog in the past.[ii] But let’s look closer at where women might still fall short of men.

In the film, The Glorias,[iii] Gloria Steinem wants her editors to consider her a serious journalist like her male counterparts. Instead, her editors give her puff pieces about things her male editors think women might find appealing (but not men). Even after she creates a stir by posing as a Playboy bunny to report on their dreadful working conditions, her editors still don’t take her seriously. So, she does what many strong women would do—she starts her own women’s magazine. And thus, she created Ms. magazine. Here is the trailer for the film:

If you lived during the 70s, you’d find the movie a fun trip down memory lane.

Sadly, sexual harassment still exists in a big way, despite the advances of the #MeToo movement. Here is a clip from the movie, Bombshell[iv] that chronicles the sexual harassment that took place not too long ago at Fox News:

Perhaps surprisingly, one of the worst industries for the discrimination of women is the entertainment industry. Repeatedly, from the 70s to today, as women made strides in their fight for equal rights, people said, “This changes everything.” But in the film industry, nothing changed much. The film This Changes Everything[v] chronicles the battle for women’s equal rights in the film industry. Here is the trailer for the film:

Here are nine facts from This Changes Everything:

1. As of 2018, in almost a century, only one woman won the Academy Award for best director (Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker in 2009).
2. In 2018, almost 78 percent of reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes were male.
3. Out of the top 101 top-grossing G-Rated films from 1990 to 2005, 72 percent of all speaking parts were male. In addition, four out of five narrators were male.
4. In G-Rated films, female characters are three times more likely to be shown in sexually revealing clothing than male characters.
5. In the top 100 grossing films in 2017, male characters received twice as much screen time as female leads.
6. Between 1949 and 1979, only one-half of one percent of director assignments went to women.
7. In 2018, half of all movies failed the “Bechtel Test”: Does a movie have at least two women conversing about something other than men? Half of the 2018 movies failed, even though the conversation between the two women could be as ordinary as discussing the color of their nail polish.
8. In films in general, since 1946, the ratio of male to female characters has remained at three to one.
9. Of the top 100 grossing films in 2018, 85 percent of the screenwriters were male.

This Changes Everything came out in 2018, and women in the film industry have made little progress since then. For example, since 2009, when Kathryn Bigelow became the first female director to win the Best Director Oscar, there have been 65 nominations for Best Director, but only four were women. But two of them won the Oscar, so maybe that’s progress.

Billie Jean King helped equalize the pay between women and male pro tennis players in the 1970s. And recently, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team got equal pay compared to their male counterparts. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Recently I read an article in the Dallas Morning News about the pay disparity between men and women. A study analyzing Census data found that in my home city of McKinney, Texas, women make $25,000 less than men among full-time workers with four-year college degrees. My neighboring town of Frisco, Texas, was even worse. According to the Dallas Morning News, the median income of men living in Frisco who are college-educated and older than 25 is nearly $124,000; Frisco women of the same criteria bring in only $57,389. Nationally, women make 18 percent less than their male counterparts, Census data show, with men that work full time making $60,428 and women earning $49,263.

I am a big believer in merit. We should pay workers based on how they perform, not their gender. If the Census data are correct, though, something besides merit appears to be driving workers’ pay.

Let’s give women their due, whether in the sports world, the business world, the entertainment industry, or to those women probably least appreciated—the stay-at-home wife and mother. Or, as Billie Jean King (played by Emma Stone) said in Battle of the Sexes: “I’m not saying women are better. I’ve never said that. I’m saying we deserve some respect.”

I, for one, agree.

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[i] Little Women:

• Production Companies: Columbia Pictures, New Regency Productions, and Pascal Pictures
• Director: Greta Gerwig
• Screenwriter: Greta Gerwig (based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott)
• Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, and Florence Pugh
• Release date: December 25, 2019

[ii] Here are links to my blog honoring women and the films about them:

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2016/12/  (Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/08/01/am-i-strong-enough-to-be-your-man/ (Disney princesses)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/10/14/take-a-knee/ (Billy Jean King in Battle of the Sexes)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/12/15/a-movement-not-just-a-moment/ (North Country, a fictional account of the first successful major sexual harassment case dramatizing the hostile work environment of female mineworkers in Minnesota)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2017/12/15/a-movement-not-just-a-moment/ (the women of Suffragette, Hidden Figures, and Made in Dagenham)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2018/05/01/fingered/ (Sexual abuse of the US Women’s Gymnastics team)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2019/01/ (Ruth Bader Ginsburg in On the Basis of Sex)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2020/09/ (Sex trafficking)

https://lifelessonsthroughfilm.com/2022/12/ (Till and She Said)

[iii] The Glorias:

• Production Companies: Artemis Rising Foundation, Saks Pictures, and The Glorias
• Director: Julie Taymor
• Screenwriters: Julie Taymor and Sarah Ruhl (based on the book My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem)
• Starring: Julianne Moore, Alicia Vikander, and Janelle Monáe
• Release date: September 30, 2020

[iv] Bombshell: 

• Production Companies: Creative Wealth Media Finance, Annapurna Pictures, and BRON Studios
• Director: Jay Roach
• Screenwriter: Charles Randolph
• Starring: Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and Margot Robbie
• Release date: December 20, 2019

[v] This Changes Everything:

• Production Companies: CCV Studios, CreativeChaos vmg
• Director: Tom Donahue
• Screenwriter: Documentary
• Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Mira Nair, and Shonda Rhimes
• Release date: October 31, 2019

As a teenager, my world revolved around friends, music, and sports. From a music standpoint, my family raised me on folk music. My older brothers constantly played albums by Peter, Paul & Mary, and similar artists. I partly attribute (blame?) my interest in social justice to their music. And so, as I got older, it was a natural progression for me to become a fan of James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Crosby, Stills & Nash (and later Young), and similar artists.

One day, a friend picked me up to play basketball. He was playing a cassette tape from a group I hadn’t heard before. “Who’s this?” I asked, pointing to the tape deck. “It’s my favorite new group,” my friend said. “Sly and the Family Stone.” As I listened, I realized I loved both the beat and the lyrics, as Sly Stone sang, “There is the yellow one that won’t accept the black one, that won’t accept the red one, that won’t accept the white one. Different strokes for different folks.” Suddenly, my love of music expanded to Black American artists. And attending a concert by the Fifth Dimension remains one of my favorites to this day.    

In high school, Woodstock became the rage. I was far too young (and chicken) to attend, but Joni Mitchell sang about it, and Crosby, Stills, and Nash played at it. I didn’t realize another concert occurred the same summer as Woodstock: The Harlem Cultural Festival. If you aren’t African American, you probably were not aware of it either. Like Woodstock, the festival was recorded, but the recordings remained hidden for 50 years until Hulu released The Summer of Soul.[i] Here is a clip from the film that describes what the festival was all about:

I like what Nikole Hannah-Jones said about music developed by Black American artists in her six-part documentary, The 1619 Project[ii]:

“Black Americans make up 13 percent of the population, yet account for an immeasurable amount of what moves us and how we move. Despite the centuries-long efforts of white Americans to warp, appropriate, and steal our music, and despite this country’s obsession with racial categorization that has tried to box our creativity in, Black Americans have continued to create, reshape, and transform American music…. American music is Black music.”

And she’s right. All music that we can consider to be American music stemmed from Black Americans. Black music has constantly evolved from spirituals, gospel, blues, jazz, R&B, Motown, funk, disco, hip hop, and rap. And as each new genre emerged, so did white artists singing it.

One of the artists featured in Summer of Soul is Nina Simone. And after hearing her sing, I found a documentary about her life entitled What Happened, Miss Simone?[iii] Here is a trailer for that film:

Simone was an activist for civil rights, and her music reflected it. In one interview, she said:

“I choose to reflect the times and the situations in which I find myself. That, to me, is my duty, and at this crucial time in our lives, when everything is so disparate, when everything is a matter of survival, I don’t think you can help but be involved.”

Simone wrote what became an anthem for young African Americans entitled “To Be Young, Gifted and Black,” which inspired hope in young Black Americans with lyrics like these:

In the whole world you know

There are billions of boys and girls

Who are young, gifted, and black,

And that’s a fact!

Young, gifted, and black

We must begin to tell our young

There’s a world waiting for you

This is a quest that’s just begun.

Nina Simone earned 15 Grammy nominations and received the Grammy Hall of Fame award in 2000. In 2003 (two days before her death), she was awarded an honorary diploma from Curtis Institute, a music school that refused to admit her at age 19 because she was black. 

Here’s another quote from Nina Simone:

“To me, we are the most beautiful creatures in the whole world, black people. So my job is to make them more curious about where they came from and their own identity and pride in that identity. That is why my songs—I try to make them as powerful as possible, mostly just to make them curious about themselves. We don’t know anything about ourselves. We don’t even have the pride and dignity of African people, but we can’t even talk about where we came from. We don’t know. It’s like a lost race.”

But as many white people began listening to Black American artists, the country continued discriminating against them. According to a survey done by the NAACP in 1947, only six percent of better hotels in America welcomed Blacks. I have discussed the film, The Green Book,[iv] in a previous blog post that illustrates that prejudice. But it wasn’t only in the Deep South. The movie, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge,[v] shows how a Las Vegas hotel drained its swimming pool after Ms. Dandridge stepped in it. She could sing for the hotel’s patrons but couldn’t use the hotel’s facilities.

Growing up, when it came to sports, I lived and breathed basketball. I loved to play it, and I loved to watch it. The Boston Celtics was the dominant team of that era, and Bill Russell was their dominant player, leading them to eleven championships. And so, I became immediately interested when Netflix aired Bill Russell: Legend.[vi]  Here is the trailer for that documentary:

Russell said this about his childhood:

“I’d go to the library and read. And I’d read this history book. And this one passage said, ‘The slaves in America were better off than they were as free people where they came from.’ And I found that astounding. I was ten years old, and I said, ‘That cannot be because every person on this planet wants to be free.’”

In the early days of the NBA, it was an almost all-white league. The unwritten rule was that a team could have two blacks on the team to room together, but no more. But the coach of the Celtics, Red Auerbach, didn’t care about that; he cared about winning championships, so he started his five best players, regardless of their race—and took a lot of heat for starting five Black Americans, violating the unwritten quota rule.

Russell lived in the Boston suburb of Reading. After Russell led the Boston Celtics to five championships in six years, the city celebrated Russell. But a month later, he and his wife, Rose, decided to move to a larger house on the west side of town.

“A rumor got out that I wanted to buy a house in another part of this town. And the neighbors objected like hell. As an athlete, a celebrity even, you’re a great guy to have in town as long as you don’t stay close to me.

“My wife, Rose, came home in tears as she watched residents sign a petition against the sale. ‘We better forget that house,’ Rose said to me. ‘They don’t want us here.’

“I bought that house, and I’m the one making the mortgage payments. I don’t care what anyone else thinks,’ I said.

“’What about our children? Who will play with them,’ Rose said.

“I am thinking about our kids. I couldn’t look them in the face if I put up with that kind of behavior. I wouldn’t let anyone tell me where I’m going to live.’”

President Obama said this about Russell: “More than any athlete of his era, Bill Russell came to define the word, ‘winner.’ Bill Russell, the man, is someone who stood up for the rights and dignity of all men.” In 1963, Russell led a civil rights march in Boston and participated in the March on Washington. In 1964, he conducted basketball clinics in Jackson, Mississippi, despite threats made on his life.

We often criticize athletes and entertainers who use their fame as a platform for civil rights. We tell them to “Shut up and play” or “Just sing.” But I am not one of them. I respect those that have a voice for using it. I honor John Carlos and Tommie Smith, who defiantly raised their black-gloved fists in protest against racial injustice in the 1968 Olympics. I will fight for Colin Kaepernick’s and others’ right to kneel during the National Anthem. I agreed with the Milwaukee Bucks for refusing to play a game immediately following the police shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha, Wisconsin, as a protest against the systemic racism experienced by Black Americans in this country. And I admire players who wear messages on their helmets or warm-up jerseys that preach love over hate.

In his book, A Road Trip Through the Living History of Black Resistance, [vii] Alvin Hall interviews Frank Figures of Jackson, Mississippi, who said, “I’m going to do what I can, with what I have, where I am, in order to make a better life and a fair deal for people.”

Shouldn’t each of us do the same?

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[i] Summer of Soul:

• Production Companies: Mass Distraction Media, RadicalMedia, and Vulcan Productions
• Director: Questlove
• Starring: Dorinda Drake, Barbara Bland-Acosta, and Darryl Lewis
• Release Date: July 2, 2021
• Currently streaming on Hulu

[ii] The 1619 Project:

• Production Companies: Harpo Films, Lionsgate Television, and One Story Up Productions
• Starring: Nikole Hannah-Jones
• Release Date: January 16, 2023
• Currently streaming on Hulu

[iii] What Happened, Miss Simone?:

• Production Companies: Moxie Firecracker Films, Netflix, RadicalMedia
• Director: Liz Garbus
• Starring: Nina Simone, Lisa Simone Kelly, and Roger Nupie
• Release Date: June 24, 2015
• Currently streaming on Netflix

[iv] The Green Book:

• Production Companies: Participant,  Dreamworks Pictures, and Inisfree Pictures
• Director: Peter Farrelly
• Screenwriters: Nick Vallelonga, Brian Hayes Currie, and Peter Farrelly
• Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Mahershala Ali, and Linda Cardellini
• Release Date: November 16, 2018
• Currently streaming on Hulu

[v] Introducing Dorothy Dandridge:

• Production Companies: HBO Films, Esparza/Katz Productions, and Vincent Cirrincione Associates
• Director: Martha Coolidge
• Screenwriters: Shonda Rhimes and Scott Abbott (based on the book, Dorothy Dandridge by Earl Mills)
• Starring: Halle Berry, Brent Spiner, and Kaus Maria Brandauer
• Release Date: August 21, 1999
• Currently streaming on HBO Max

[vi] Bill Russell: Legend:

• Production Company: High Five Productions
• Starring: Larry Bird, Satch Sanders, and Jeannine Russell
• Release Date: February 8, 2023
• Currently streaming on Netflix

[vii] Driving the Green Book: A Road Trip Through the Living History of Black Resistance by Alvin Hall with Karl Weber, Harper One, Copyrighted 2023.

Spanish-American philosopher George Santayana once said, “History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.” Despite that definition, I love history. I even once considered dropping my legal career to become a history teacher. But I couldn’t force myself to take the vow of poverty that would require.

Sadly, some people think studying history is a thing of the past. Or, as Bismarck once said, “History is simply a piece of paper covered with print; the main thing is still to make history, not write it.”

But I feel differently.

In his book 1984, George Orwell taught that whoever controls the past controls the future. And who controls the present controls the past. So, who is trying to control the present? Perhaps many persons and groups, but one obvious choice is our politicians, especially the extreme elements of both parties. So, if Orwell is correct, how we teach history becomes critical to our future.

Last September, when Texas passed a law prohibiting the teaching of “Critical Race Theory” in public schools, I became interested. Critical Race Theory is the concept that the founding of the United States is so intertwined with slavery that it led to inherent inequality and institutionalized racism that impact people of color today. The theory grew out of The 1619 Project, The New York Times Pulitzer Prize-winning project that examines slavery and the contributions of Black Americans at the center of U.S. history. Or, as The 1619 Project creator, Nikole Hannah Jones, describes it:

“As a woman in my 40s, I am part of the first generation of Black Americans in the history of the United States to be born in a society in which Black people had full rights of citizenship. Yet, in that brief span of time, despite continuing to face rampant discrimination, and despite there never having been a genuine effort to redress the wrongs of slavery and the century of legal discrimination that followed, Black Americans have made astounding progress, not only for ourselves but also for all Americans. Our struggles and strivings have made America more fair and more just. And as much democracy as we have, it has been born of Black resistance. In other words, the very people who were never supposed to be a part of our democracy have played the most pivotal role in creating it. So what if America, finally, after 400 years, realizes that Black people have never been the problem, but the solution.”

Texas is not alone in frowning upon Critical Race Theory. As of last year, at least 16 states had banned or restricted teaching it in public schools; 19 other states have pending legislation.

So, what does Texas law prohibit? Interestingly, the law does not use the term “Critical Race Theory.” But it does state that a teacher or school administrator may not “require an understanding of the 1619 Project.” But how can we understand our history without understanding Black Americans’ roles in establishing and developing the United States?

Does this mean a Texas history teacher cannot teach that slavery began in America before the United States existed? On the contrary, the first enslaved people landed in Jamestown in 1619, even before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock.

Can we teach that, in 1636, we built our first slave ship, the Desire? We made that ship in Massachusetts, not Virginia or a state in the deep South. The next three slave ships built in America were the Fortune, Hope, and Prosperity. And so, from the beginning, can we teach that Americans associated slavery with economic advancement?

Can we teach that the third verse of the National Anthem celebrates the capture and murder of enslaved people with the words, “No refuge could save the hireling and slave from the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave?” Perhaps that is not surprising when we consider that its author, Francis Scott Key, a lawyer and owner of enslaved persons, once prosecuted a man for possessing abolitionist literature. Scott, a federal prosecutor in Washington, D.C., sought the death penalty in United States v. Reuben Crandall. In Key’s closing argument to the jury, he said: “Are you willing, gentlemen, to abandon your country, to permit it to be taken from you and occupied by the abolitionist, according to whose taste it is to associate and amalgamate with the Negro?” 

Can we teach that Twelve U.S. Presidents owned enslaved persons?  

Can we teach that, by 1835, cotton from the labor of enslaved persons equaled 55 percent of all U.S. exports? By 1860, the yearly cotton production was 2.3 billion pounds, 60 percent of U.S. exports. Four million enslaved persons performed that labor. Their value? $3.5 billion, equating to $100 billion in today’s money.

Can we teach that, during the Civil War, the mayor of New York City advocated exiting the Union? However, he did not want New York to join the Confederacy but to maintain neutrality because of the financial wealth brought to the city due to the cotton trade and insurance underwritten to finance and protect slaveholders. The city received $200 million from cotton alone in that time’s currency.

Can we teach that, in the 1860s, Texas tried to pass legislation requiring school teachers to teach that slavery was a side issue of the Civil War? But its secession statement said Texas left the Union because “the servitude of the African Race, as existing in these states, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free.”

Can we teach our students about “Whipped Peter,” whose life is portrayed in the recent movie, Emancipation[i]? Here is my favorite scene from the film:

This photo of Whipped Peter became a symbol of the cruelty, more often than not, inflicted upon enslaved persons:

Could we at least acknowledge Black Africans’ contributions to the Union army? By the war’s end, some 180,000 Black Africans had joined the Union army or about ten percent of the total. But unfortunately, about 40,000 of them died in the war.

Can we teach that, in 1883, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the country’s first Civil Rights Act that outlawed racial discrimination in housing, schools, public transportation, and jury service? Unfortunately, that decision led to a series of laws and policy decisions by federal, state, and local governments that promoted racial discrimination in housing and banking, as illustrated in this clip from the film, The Banker[ii]:

Can we teach that, between 1877 and 1950, there were 4,400 verified racially motivated lynchings and killings in America? Yet, it was not until last year that lynchings became outlawed by federal law. One of these killings was of Elmore Bolling, who, a Chicago newspaper reported, was killed because “he was a marked man since he was rated by whites as too successful to be a Negro.”

Can we tell students about the march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge from Selma to Montgomery, leading to the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965? Edmund Pettus was a Grand Dragon of the KKK and a symbol of white supremacy in the South. The movie, Selma,[iii] portrays what happened on that bridge in March 1965:

And the list goes on and on. There were many more things about our racial history that no one taught me in school. To learn about some of these, I urge you to watch the documentary, Who We Are.[iv]

The Texas law also prohibits any teaching that “an individual, by virtue of the individual’s race or sex, bears responsibility for actions committed in the past by other members of the same race or sex” or that “an individual should feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress on account of the individual’s race or sex.” But what if a student feels this way when they learn history? Do we then terminate that history teacher?

I like what Jeffrey Robinson, the Deputy Legal Director of the National ACLU, said in his documentary, Who We Are: A Chronicle of Racism in America:

 “Slavery is not our fault. We didn’t do it. We did not cause it. It’s not our responsibility. But it is our shared history. And when we try to turn it into something that it’s not, when we try to make more light of it than it was, then we are denying who we really are, and we are impeding our ability to truly move forward as a community or as a nation.”

About a year ago, I took three Implicit Association Tests. I didn’t like the results. The tests did not accurately reflect me, or so I thought. So, this past week I retook it. Sadly, the results were the same. And so, according to these tests administered by Harvard University, I have implicit biases against African Americans, Muslims, and fat people.

What is implicit bias? It’s a tendency to favor one group of people over another without a valid reason behind it. But wait! I consciously try to avoid racial and other stereotypes. But perhaps that’s the point of the tests. If an implicit association test reveals that we might have implicit biases, that might encourage us to think before we speak, act and even think about others. 

Take the challenge; I dare you. The results might surprise you. Here is a link to the test:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

Is the test accurate? According to Practical Psychology, the Implicit Association Test “is not considered the perfect measurement of implicit bias or prejudice throughout the country, but it may offer some insight into how we associate groups of people with different traits, behaviors, and feelings.” 

As I think about my upbringing, I can see how implicit biases might have crept into my subconsciousness. For example, I never saw an African American in person until I was in the eighth grade. I still don’t know if I have met a practicing Muslim, and I saw at an early age that beautiful people with perfect bodies, as reflected in the media, had enormous advantages over those that didn’t fit the mold.

But the more I learn about history—our history—and the more I know about myself, the more I am inclined to stop and think before I say, do, or champion something that others might see as unfair or discriminatory. That is something I believe all of us must do more of if we expect this nation to survive. Or, as historian John Toland said, “It is human nature that repeats itself, not history.”

I hope that one day, human nature can change for the better.

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[i] Emancipation:

• Production Companies: Apple TV+, CAA Media Finance, and Escape Artists
• Director: Antoine Fuqua
• Screenwriter: Bill Collage
• Starring: Will Smith, Ben Foster, and Charmaine Bingwa
• Release Date: December 9, 2022
• Streaming on Apple TV+

[ii] The Banker:

• Production Companies: Romulus Entertainment, Hyphenate Films, and Iam21 Entertainment
• Director: George Nolfi
• Screenwriters: Niceole R. Levy, George Nolfi, and David Lewis Smith
• Starring: Anthony Mackie, Samuel L. Jackson, and Nicholas Hoult
• Release Date: March 20, 2020
• Streaming on Apple TV+

[iii] Selma:

• Production Companies: Pathé, Harpo Films, Plan B Entertainment
• Director: Ava DuVernay
• Screenwriter: Paul Webb 
• Starring: David Oyelowo, Carmen Ejogo, and Oprah Winfrey
• Release Date: January 9, 2015
• Streaming on Showtime

[iv] Who We Are: A Chronicle of Racism in America:

• Production Company: Off Center Media
• Directors: Emily Kunstler and Sarah Kunstler
• Screenwriter: Jeffery Robinson 
• Starring: Josephine Bolling McCall, Gwen Carr, and Tiffany Crutcher
• Release Date: March 17, 2021
• Streaming on Netflix

Many years ago, I served as a lay leader in our church. Our congregation’s young women’s group asked me to speak at one of their activities called New Beginnings because it was at the start of a new school year. The young women would listen to me and then engage in an activity to learn how to quilt. So, as visual aids to my little speech, I brought two of my favorite quilts. My mother-in-law had made one of them, a patchwork of material scraps she had probably collected through the years. When we moved from Houston back to Dallas, a group of close friends gave our family the other quilt. These dear friends had covered it with 16 handprints and footprints of each of our friends and all their children. I told the young women that I loved to snuggle into these quilts on a cold night, not because of their fine quality, but because every time I did, I thought of family and close friends. And those thoughts alone would be enough to keep me warm.

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships—the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.“ I agree with FDR that human relationships are crucial to our happiness and even the survival of humankind. I have thought about the importance of relationships lately through writing my personal history. As I have thought about the events that made up my life, I have realized once again that it was not the events that were important to me, but rather those with whom I shared them. And those included my spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, bosses and co-workers, doctors, and even God. And I learned that we can handle even the darkest experiences if we have a loved one or a friend to beside us.

Why are relationships sometimes so hard to create or manage if they are so meaningful? Books about relationships could fill dozens of libraries, but two recent movies have reminded me of a few lessons to keep in mind when dealing with others.

Lesson No. 1: You can find something to like in almost anyone. I like what Tom Hanks said about getting to know others: “Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are, by nature, too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can either approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism, and a great deal of candor.”

In Here Today,[i] Charlie Burnz (played by Billy Crystal) is a well-known comedy writer who agrees to have lunch with the highest bidder at a charity auction. But Emma Payge (played by Tiffany Haddish), who shows up for that lunch, has almost nothing in common with Burnz, as depicted in this scene:

But as Burnz and Payge get to know each other, they become good friends. And when Burnz learns that he has a rare form of dementia, this happens:

And isn’t that what friends are for? Someone said that 80 percent of successful relationships is just showing up. No one wants to feel as if they are alone.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that Burnz and Payge became good friends. As they got to know each other, they found they had more in common than they first realized. But could it work with our rivals as well?

In Honor Society,[ii] Honor Rose (played by Angourie Rice) can’t wait to graduate high school. And her life-long goal is to attend Harvard, but as this trailer for the film tells us, Honor has three rivals standing in her way:

Honor believes she can get the upper hand on her rivals if she can distract them enough that they tank their midterms while she maintains her outstanding grade point average. But as she sets her traps in motion, she learns to like these rivals, even falling in love with one of them.

Lesson No. 2: Relationships can hurt. Bob Marley once said, “Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” As Honor develops her new friendships, she gets hurt along the way. But in the end, she is all right with that because at least some of her new friends are worth it—even if it means giving up a spot at Harvard for one of them.

Lesson No. 3: The best relationships are based on mutual respect and caring. Thomas Merton said, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” The characters in Here Today and Honor Society let their new friends be themselves and vice versa. If we seek relationships built only on what the other person can do for us, those relationships are doomed to fail.  

I love new beginnings, whether starting a new year, having another birthday, changing jobs, or moving to a new area. With each new change, we can reevaluate our lives and determine where we want to go next. But as we do these reevaluations, let’s focus on what is most critical in our lives—the relationships we have with others, for that is where life’s joys and satisfaction come from.

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[i] Here Today:

• Production Companies: Astute Films, Big Head Productions, and Big Indie Pictures
• Director: Billy Crystal
• Screenwriters: Alan Zweibel and Billy Crystal
• Starring: Billy Crystal, Tiffany Haddish, and Deirdre Friel
• Release Date: May 7, 2021
• Currently streaming on Starz

[ii] Honor Society:

• Production Companies: Awesomeness Films and Guardian Pictures
• Director: Oran Zegman
• Screenwriter: David A. Goodman
• Starring: Angourie Rice, Gaten Matarazzo, and Christopher Mintze-Plasse
• Release Date: July 29, 2022
• Currently streaming on Paramount

My drama teacher in high school required us to read An Enemy of the People, a play by Henrik Ibsen. My teacher kept harping on the play’s theme: the majority is not always correct. I never fully understood what she meant by that until years later as an adult.

As humans, we like to form groups, which leads to in-crowds and out-crowds. If you are part of the group, you are part of the in-crowd; if you are not in the group, you are part of the out-crowd. And those in-crowds we are part of can sometimes make us irrational. If we are football fans, for example, we put wild make-up on our faces and hair and dress in ways we wouldn’t anywhere other than at a football game. And we don’t just love our team; we hate the opposing team and every person supporting that team. That love-hate relationship is carried out not only on the field but sometimes in the stands. I smile at those photos showing a single person wearing a red jersey in a sea of blue jerseys and think of the Southwest Airlines ad line: “Want to get away?”

But it’s not just in sports. My parents raised me in a religion that taught it was the only true and living church on earth, and according to its founder, all others were an abomination in the sight of God. Little wonder I grew up with a bias against anyone who was not a member of my church. But fortunately, as a teenager, I started to see things differently. There are good people in all religions, and mine had no monopoly on the truth. And everyone, even those who disagree with us, is entitled to respect and understanding.

But what do you do if you are not a member of the predominant in-crowd? At the very least, you hope those in the in-crowd will treat you justly, despite being in the out-crowd. Alexander Hamilton once said, “I think the first duty of society is justice.” I believe all the Founding Fathers of this country saw it that same way and tried to set up a government that protected everyone, even those in the out-crowd.

In law school, I often thought about the symbol of legal justice—a woman holding a balancing scale with a blindfold over her eyes. In other words, justice should be blind to whether the person on trial is part of the in-crowd or the out-crowd. Said another way, we should decide all legal matters solely on their merits.

Sadly, reality does not always follow that ideal. Or, as Monica Piper once quipped, “Juries scare me. I don’t want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”

One of my favorite movies at the recent Austin Film Festival was American: An Odyssey to 1947. In part, it told the story of Isaac Woodard. An African-American veteran of World War II, Woodard was a victim of racial violence that left him completely blind. After being discharged from the army and still in uniform, Woodard boarded a Greyhound bus from Augusta, Georgia, to his home in North Carolina. But at a bus stop in South Carolina, for no reason other than he was an African-American, local police forcibly removed Woodard from the bus and repeatedly beat him with nightsticks. The officers then arrested Woodard for disorderly conduct. During his night in jail, the local sheriff walloped Woodard and repeatedly stabbed his eyes with his billy club, leaving him permanently blind. The following day, police sent Woodard before the local judge, who found him guilty and fined him fifty dollars.

Slowly, Woodard’s story spread, primarily due to the efforts of the NAACP. When Orson Welles heard of the beating, he made it the focus of his national weekly radio broadcast for five straight weeks. Those broadcasts prompted the Justice Department to investigate and bring charges against those involved. But after thirty minutes of deliberation, the all-white jury acquitted all the defendants, including the sheriff.

From all appearances, Isaac Woodard received no justice. But maybe he did in another way. Shortly after the verdict, President Harry S. Truman established the Civil Rights Commission, and in a speech on civil rights made a short time later, President Truman said, in part:

“It is my deep conviction that we have reached a turning point in our country’s efforts to guarantee freedom and equality to all our citizens. Recent events in the United States and abroad have made us realize that it is more important today than ever before to ensure that all Americans enjoy these rights. When I say all Americans—I mean all Americans.”

The following year, President Truman sent the first comprehensive civil rights bill to Congress and later banned segregation in the armed forces. And thus, thanks to Isaac Woodard’s experience, the civil rights movement began earnestly in America.

But it would be a long road that still has not reached its destination.

The recent film, Till,[i] tells the true story of Emmitt Till’s mother, who, after the brutal lynching of her son in 1955, vows to expose the racism behind it and find justice for her son. Here is the trailer for the movie:   

While Isaac Woodard became the catalyst behind America’s civil rights movement, Emmitt Till became its icon. Although the details are unclear, Till, a 14-year-old African-American visiting his cousins in Mississippi from Chicago, allegedly talked to, flirted with, or whistled at a 21-year-old white woman in a grocery store. A few nights after the incident, the woman’s husband and others abducted Till, then beat and mutilated him before shooting him in the head and dumping his body in the Tallahatchie River.

A month later, an all-white jury found Till’s murderers not guilty. Protected now by the Constitution’s protection against double jeopardy (not being tried for the same crime twice), the attackers later confessed to the murder. Like Isaac Woodard, there appeared to be no justice for Emmitt Till.

But Emmitt’s mother, Mamie, received justice in another way. As Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Justice is truth in action.” And Mamie took action. She insisted on a public funeral with an open casket so the world could see what those white Southerners did to her son. And see it, the world did. Tens of thousands attended the funeral or viewed his open casket. Black-oriented newspapers and magazines published the image of his bloated, mutilated body, again heightening awareness of the lack of civil rights in the South. Three months after the trial, the Montgomery bus boycott began, resulting in the Supreme Court ruling that segregated buses were unconstitutional. Finally, on March 29, 2022, President Joe Biden signed the Emmitt Till Antilynching Act into law, making lynching a federal hate crime. And in 2018, the government finally vacated Isaac Woodard’s disorderly conduct charge.

Race minorities are not the only out-crowds fighting for justice. LGBTQ+ have been openly battling discrimination for decades, even though society has made significant progress with the legalization of same-sex marriages and anti-discrimination laws in housing and lending. But the world remains far from perfect if you are LGBTQ+. All you need to do is point to the recent mass shooting at a gay-friendly bar in Colorado Springs. But such discrimination is more systemic. A current Center for American Progress study found 36 percent of all LGBTQ+ Americans said they experienced discrimination over the past year, and 69 percent of non-binary people reported discrimination during that period. The rate of discrimination against transgender Americans was 60 percent. And for young adults, it was even worse—two-thirds of LGBTQ+ youths reported discrimination during the past year.

Another of my favorite movies shown at the Austin Film Festival was The Inspection,[ii] a film inspired by the life of its director, Elegance Bratton. In the movie, a young, gay African-American, rejected by his mom, joins the Marines. But in that world of “manly men,” the young man battles deep-seated prejudice. But through it all, he finds camaraderie and support despite his sexual preferences and a new sense of belonging—which brings hope to all of us that the world will improve. Here is the trailer:

Fifty years ago, if someone told me the Supreme Court would legalize same-sex marriages, I would have told them they were living in a fantasy world. But dreams sometimes come true. The Supreme Court did just that in 2015. And Congress recently passed the Respect for Marriage Act, which repeals the Defense of Marriage Act that defined marriage as between one man and one woman. The Act also requires states to recognize legal same-sex marriages performed in other states. President Biden, who we expect will sign the bill, said, ”The United States is on the brink of reaffirming a fundamental truth: love is love, and Americans should have the right o marry the person they love.”

The Senate, however, added provisions bolstering religious liberty protections. As amended, the Act now states that religious organizations (including churches and religious schools) will not be required to provide services, facilities, or goods for same-sex marriages. It also ensures the IRS cannot use the Act to deny or alter benefits or the tax-exempt status of such organizations.

Opponents of these amendments claim they allow discrimination against LGBTQ+ under the guise of religious belief. And so, the battle for complete justice for these members of many people’s out-crowd continues.

Even women often find themselves as part of the out-crowd. For example, a 2018 survey found that 77 percent of women have experienced verbal sexual harassment, and 51 percent had been sexually touched without their permission. The recently released film, She Said[iii] is the true story of how New York Times reporters Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor broke the story of the constant sexual harassment of women by Harvey Weinstein. Here is the trailer for the movie:

These women received some justice when the courts sentenced Weinstein to 23 years in prison. After the initial three women came forward, a total of 82 victims made claims against Weinstein. But more importantly, the actions of these women sparked the #MeToo movement that toppled many prominent sexual harassers, both in Hollywood and elsewhere. And recently, New York City, for the first time in its history, has women heading its fire department and police department. Perhaps women are finally getting their due. As someone once said, “All things come to him [her] who waits—even justice.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.” Therefore, when we see injustice, we must speak out until those wrongs are righted. By taking a stand, we can make the world a happier and more just place.

Let’s do our part to ensure justice for all is a reality, for as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere.”

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[i] Till:

• Production Companies: Eon Productions, Frederick Zollo Productions, and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
• Director: Chinonye Chukwu
• Screenwriters: Michael Reily, Keith Beauchamp, and Chinonye Chukwu
• Starring: Danielle Deadwyler, Jalyn Hall, and Frankie Faison
• Release date: October 28, 2022

[ii] The Inspection:

• Production Companies: Freedom Principle and Gamechanger Films
• Director: Elegance Bratton
• Screenwriter: Elegence Bratton
• Starring: Jeremy Pope, Gabrrielle Union, and Bokeem Woodbine
• Release date: October 14, 2022

[iii] She Said:

• Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Annapurna Pictures,. And Plan B Entertainment
• Director: Maria Schrader
• Screenwriter: Rebecca Lenkiewicz, Jodi Kantor, and Megan Twohey
• Starring: Carey Mulligan, Zoe Kazan, and Patricia Clarkson
• Release date: November 18, 2022

If you are one of the few folks following my blog religiously, you might wonder why I didn’t post on the first of the month, as usual. That’s because my wife and I just returned from the Austin Film Festival, where we watched 21 movies in eight days. Sadly, there were several others we wanted to see but couldn’t due to scheduling conflicts. I admit it; I’m a film junkie.

There is nothing like watching a film with movie people. They cry unashamedly, laugh boisterously, and cheer loudly when someone rights a wrong. They applaud at the end of every movie and stay to watch the credits.

Perhaps the best part of the Festival was listening to insiders from a film. At the end of most movies, someone (often several people) connected to the film, such as the writer, director, producer, or star, held a question-and-answer session about the film. In these sessions, you learned what inspired the people to make the film, insights about the characters and plot, and even some of the technical aspects of making the movie.

Films at the Festival fall into several categories. First, there are the shorts, usually made by young, aspiring filmmakers who use shorts to demonstrate their yet unrecognized talent. Then there are the independent films hoping to convince distributors to pay for the rights to the movie. And then there are those films with distributors who use the Festival to generate buzz before they release the film. And in each category, there are narrative films and documentaries. I usually prefer narrative films to documentaries, but the documentaries outshined the narratives at this year’s Festival.

Overall, I didn’t think this year’s Festival was as good as it has been in the past. Still, there were several films that I recommend as being well worth your time. Here’s a recap of the four movies I recommend you see:

Good Night Oppy[i] tells the inspirational story of Mars rovers, Opportunity, and Spirit. NASA sent the rovers to the red planet on a 90-day mission. But Opportunity roved Mars’ surface for 15 years sending back data confirming that, at one time. Mars had enough water to sustain life. But the documentary’s best part is the relationship between Oppy and its handlers. Who knew you could get teary-eyed over a machine? Here is the trailer:

You can watch Good Night Oppy in theaters now or wait and watch it on Amazon Prime starting November 23.

Who Invited Charlie?[ii] follows a New York family holed up in the Hamptons during the pandemic whose bubble is popped by oddball Charlie, who is much wiser than he appears. The film again proves the tired cliché that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Here is the trailer:

The best thing about The Lost King[iii] is that it is a true story. It tells how an amateur historian takes on all the experts to find the missing remains of King Richard III of England. Here is the trailer:

Sam & Kate[iv] had its world premiere at the Austin Film Festival. Dustin Hoffman plays Sam’s father, and Sissy Spacek plays Kate’s mother. The best thing about the film is that Jake Hoffman plays Sam, who happens to be Dustin Hoffman’s real-life son, and Schuyler Fisk plays Kate, Sissy Spacek’s real-life daughter. If you like romantic comedies, you will love Sam & Kate. Here’s the trailer:

Sam & Kate hits theaters on November 11.

Here are two other movies of note:

The Whale stars Brendan Fraser. His performance garnered him a six-minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival. I found the characters in The Whale hard to like, but watching Fraser’s performance in an unusual role for him might be worth the price of admission. The film opens in theaters on December 11.

My favorite movie of the Festival was American: An Odyssey to 1947. It is a documentary that tracks three interconnecting stories: the rise and fall in America of actor and director Orson Welles, a Japanese American who survived the atomic bomb at Hiroshima, and Isaac Woodward, an African American soldier beaten by police in South Carolina. The beating galvanized the civil rights movement. The film, independently made, is looking for a distributor. I hope it finds one, as everyone should see it.

There was no official theme at this year’s Festival, but as one attendee pointed out, most of the films dealt with the importance of relationships. Our relationships bring us our greatest happiness and sometimes our biggest frustrations. In closing, please remember these words of the late Paul Walker: “You know, all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae.”

See you at the movies!

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[i] Good Night Oppy:

• Production Companies: Amazon Studios, Amblin Entertainment, and Amblin Television
• Director: Ryan White
• Screenwriters: Ryan White and Helen Kearns
• Starring: Angela Bassett (narrator)
• Release Date: November 23, 2022

[ii] Who Invited Charlie?:

• Production Companies: Perry Street Films and Blind Bulldog Films
• Director: Xavier Manrique
• Screenwriter: Nicholas Schutt
• Starring: Jordana Brewster, Adam Pally, Rhys Coiro
• Release Date: October 8, 2022

[iii] The Lost King:

• Production Companies: BBC Films, Baby Cow Films, and Ingenious Media
• Director: Stephen Frears
• Screenwriters: Steve Coogan and Bill Pope
• Starring: Sally Hawkins, Shonagh Price, and Helen Katamba
• Release Date: October 7, 2022 (United Kingdom)

[iv] Sam & Kate:

• Production Companies: Story in the Sky, Volition Media Partners, and Thomasville Pictures
• Director: Darren Le Gallo
• Screenwriter: Darren Le Gallo
• Starring: Henry Thomas, Dustin Hoffman, and Sissy Spacek
• Release Date:  October 28, 2022

It was Grandparents’ week at school a couple of weeks ago. That meant Janene and I could go to school and have lunch with our grandkids—or, more accurately, bring them lunch from their favorite fast-food restaurant.

We sat at a table at one of those lunches, waiting for our grandchild’s lunch period to begin. So, looking around during the previous lunch period, I saw something that hurt my heart. Two kids, a boy and a girl, were eating alone. Sure, other kids surrounded them, but they ate alone without any friends to talk to.

My first thought was at least they were not being actively bullied by the other kids. But my second thought was, which is worse? Being bullied or being totally ignored? Or, as Helen Keller once said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” Unfortunately, too many of us are walking alone in the light.

Recently, I listened to a podcast featuring John Larsen. Here is his definition of bullying: “Bullies punch down. What that means is they attack populations or people or races, ethnicities, religions that have less social status, less power, less money, less influence than they do.” I like that. The next time you feel like saying something critical or cutting about someone who is transgender, gay, of a different race, less educated, or poorer than you, ask yourself first, what has this person or group taken away from me? How have they diminished my privilege? If you are honest with yourself, you will probably answer they have not affected my life in any meaningful way. Under those circumstances, does it make sense to say anything at all? 

In the film Mean Girls, the clique known as the plastics had prestige and influence in high school and let those around them know they were at the top of the social hierarchy. In short, they punched down. But Cady (played by Lindsay Lohan), who once had worked her way into the clique, said it best: “Calling someone fat doesn’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try and solve the problem in front of you.”

Of course, the opposite of punching down is punching up—pushing back against the powers that be. That’s what Cady did to the Mean Girls. So we must punch up repeatedly to ensure that marginalized groups and individuals are protected.

In Where the Crawdads Sing,[i] the townsfolk bullied a “marsh girl” because of her poverty and resulting lifestyle. Here is the trailer for the film:

The marsh girl learned from the marsh, “Every creature does what it must to survive.” So if someone is punching down upon us, let’s figure out what we must do to survive. Maya Angelou said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Or, as I like to tell myself, “Go ahead, bully me, but in 30 years, the only thing people will remember is that I am your boss.”

One of my favorite films about bullying is Wonder.[ii] Auggie suffers from a disease that has left his face and head deformed. Accordingly, the school could be rough on him. One bad day, when someone Auggie thought was his friend betrayed him, Auggie has this conversation with his sister:

Sometimes, as a victim of someone punching down on us, we feel like Auggie did—that there are no nice people in the world. But his friend, Jack Will, redeems himself in this scene:

Jack Will learned this valuable lesson: Strong people stick up for themselves, but the strongest stick up for others. Or said a different way, if you turn and face the other way when someone is being bullied, you might as well be the bully.

At the recent Wyoming versus BYU college football game, BYU honored a group of black athletes known as the Wyoming Black 14. Although I grew up in Utah and am not a BYU fan, I remember the circumstances well. In 1969, 14 black members of the University of Wyoming football team wanted to wear black armbands to protest the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the “Church”) ban on African Americans holding the priesthood. (The Church removed that ban in 1978.) These athletes went to their coach, Lloyd Eaton, to ask permission to wear the armbands. If the coach said no, they would accept that decision. But Coach Eaton, without discussion, dismissed all 14 from the school’s football team. Then for two hours, the coach punched down on these young men, berating them with such statements as:

“Most of you don’t even know who your fathers are.”

“You’re going to be on subsistence programs for the rest of your lives.”

“I got you off the streets … picking up cigarette butts.”

“There’s no other university that will invite you to play football for them.”

 The University of Wyoming kept the story buried for forty years. But these young men were tough on and off the football field. They ended up living successful lives. Or, as one of them, John Griffin, said, “Never be defined by an incident.”

To the University’s credit, it recognized they had bullied the Black 14. So, in 2016, the University reunited the Black 14, presented them with the letter jackets they would have received in 1969, and, more importantly, issued a letter of apology, which said, in part: “As an institution, we believe we have learned and grown from what you had to endure.”

But as John Griffin described it, the Black 14 decided to turn “a tragedy into philanthropy.” They developed a partnership with the Church to distribute food to those in need. Over the past three years, the Black 14 and the Church delivered 800,000 pounds of food to the hungry near the homes of the Black 14.

If we have punched down on someone, I hope we can realize our mistake and apologize. And genuine apologies include restitution for the wrong. And if we see someone punch down upon another, let’s stand up for those victims. And let us be brave and punch up when necessary, speaking truth to power to help make this a better world for all of us.  

In closing, here are the lyrics to my favorite anti-bullying song, Don’t Laugh at Me.[iii] The daughter of the songwriter inspired the song when she confided in her dad that her classmates teased her because of her freckles. Mark Wills first recorded the song in 1968, but Peter, Paul, and Mary have also recorded it. The song helped inspire Peter Yarrow to found the non-profit organization Operation Respect, promoting tolerance and civility programs in education. The version below is the one recorded by Peter, Paul, and Mary:

I’m a little boy with glasses, the one they call the geek

A little girl who never smiles ’cause I’ve got braces on my teeth

And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep

I’m the kid on every playground Who’s always chosen last

A single teenage mother tryin’ to overcome my past

You don’t have to be my friend but is it too much to ask

Don’t laugh at me, don’t call me names

Don’t get your pleasure from my pain

In God’s eyes we’re all the same

Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

Don’t laugh at me

I’m the beggar on the corner, you’ve passed me on the street

And I wouldn’t be out here beggin’ if I had enough to eat

And don’t think I don’t notice that our eyes never meet

Don’t laugh at me, don’t call me names

Don’t get your pleasure from my pain

In God’s eyes we’re all the same

Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

Don’t laugh at me

I’m fat, I’m thin, I’m short, I’m tall

I’m deaf, I’m blind, hey aren’t we all

I’m black, I’m white, and I am brown

I’m Christian, I’m Jewish, and I am Muslim

I’m gay, I’m lesbian, I’m American Indian

I’m very, very young, I’m quite aged

I’m quite wealthy, I’m very, very poor

Don’t laugh at me, don’t call me names

Don’t get your pleasure from my pain

In God’s eyes we’re all the same

Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

Don’t laugh at me

My country ’tis of thee

Oh, sweet land of liberty

It is of thee I sing.

I hope we can challenge those with more power than us, when appropriate, and defend those with less power every chance we get.

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[i] Where the Crawdads Sing:

• Production Companies: 3000 Pictures and Hello Sunshine
• Director: Olivia Newman
• Screenwriter: Delia Owens (based on the book by Lucy Alibar)
• Starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Taylor John Smith, and Harris Dickenson
• Release date: July 15, 2022

[ii] Wonder:

• Production Companies: Lionsgate, Participant, Walden Media
• Director: Stephen Chbosky
• Screenwriters: Stephen Chbosky, Steve Conrad, and Jack Thorne
• Starring: Jacob Tremblay, Owen Wilson, and Izabela Vidovic
• Release date: November 17, 2017

[iii] Words and music by Allen Shamblin and Steve Seskin

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