I recently watched the movie A Complete Unknown,[i] which follows the early career of Bob Dylan, from an unknown singer-songwriter to an international sensation. I have always been a Dylan fan, and so, I was pumped to watch the film. At one point in the film, he (as played remarkably by Timothée Chalamet) sings this:

I immediately thought of the time I played my guitar and sang “The Times, They Are a-Changing” in my high school English class. We were studying poetry, and I chose Dylan as my poet of choice.

That memory prompted me to think about the music that has surrounded my life, or, as Rob Sheffield said in Love is a Mix Tape, “The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with—nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life.”

I suppose the mix tape of my life began when I was eight and stuck in bed for two solid months with rheumatic fever. To pass the time, I started listening to our portable stereo that my mom had placed right next to my bed. What did I listen to over and over and over again? The soundtrack to West Side Story. And much to my mother’s chagrin, my favorite song was “The Jet Song”: “When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day. . . .”  And later in the song: “Here come the Jets like a bat out of hell, someone gets in our way, someone don’t feel so well.” Fortunately, I never joined any gangs.

As I grew older, I developed a love for folk music because that was what my two older brothers listened to. First, there was the Kingston Trio, and then Peter, Paul & Mary. I still believe that “Polly Von” is one of the saddest songs ever sung.

Now, whenever I hear a song by the Beach Boys, I think of sixth grade, when my friends and I debated who was the best band: The Beatles or The Beach Boys. I chose The Beach Boys. Maybe because I tend to be an introvert, my favorite song back then was “In My Room.” And it was perfect for slow dancing.

In middle school, one of my favorite songs was The Doors’ “Light My Fire.” That’s because I asked the cutest girl I dared to dance with me at a school dance, and the song ran for almost seven minutes.

Even today, whenever I hear “For What It’s Worth” by Buffalo Springfield, I think about making posters for a friend’s campaign for student body president of our junior high. He won, by the way, I’m sure, because of his dynamic campaign manager (me).

In the summer of 1971, my friends would come over to swim at our house. I would turn up the volume on our stereo in the living room, open the windows, and listen to James Taylor’s album, Mudslide Slim and the Blue Horizon. Although I love Carole King, it is hard to beat James Taylor’s rendition of “You’ve Got a Friend.”

Sadly, whenever I hear a Neil Diamond song, I can’t help but think of the Neil Diamond concert I attended in the spring of 1972. It was the worst date of my life. I try not to blame Mr. Diamond, but I still hold a grudge.

At 19, I started serving a church mission in Australia. I adopted Carole King’s “So Far Away” and Bob Dylan’s “I Shall Be Released” as my theme songs. But it wasn’t always melancholy. I also played and sang John Denver’s “Take Me Home Country Roads” on street corners to attract attention to our gospel message. Even now, when I hear any of those songs, it brings back memories of my days down under.

Speaking of theme songs, when I returned from that mission, I adopted a new one after breaking up with my girlfriend: Jim Croce’s “Lover’s Cross.” I still sing it when I play my guitar and can’t help but smile when I sing, “So I hope that you can find another who can take what I could not. He’ll have to be a super guy or maybe a super god. ’Cause I never was much of a martyr before and I ain’t ‘bout to start nothin’ new, and baby, I can’t hang upon no lover’s cross for you.”  

But I really smile now every time I hear a Carpenters song, as it reminds me of dancing with the love of my life at our wedding. “We’ve only just begun ….”

And now my life has come almost full circle. I still tear up when I play or hear Heartland’s “I Loved Her First,” as that was the song I danced with my daughter at her wedding. Those were tears of joy. I still cry tears of sadness whenever I hear Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Unimaginable” from the musical Hamilton, or Wicked’s “Because I Knew You.” Last year, we went through the unimaginable after we lost our son to mental illness.

Even as an older adult with my life mostly over, I still find happiness through music. I recently burst with pride as I listened to my nine-year-old granddaughter sing Bruno Mars’ “Count on Me” at her school’s talent show.

These are just a few of the many experiences in my life that are tied to music.

I can’t imagine living a life without music. It has accentuated the good times and helped me through the bad times. Or, as Bruce Springsteen once said, “The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with.”

But what if we couldn’t hear the music of our lives? The film CODA tells the story of what it’s like to be a hearing child of deaf adults (CODA), especially when you have a passion for music that those deaf adults cannot fully appreciate. This scene from CODA[ii] emphasizes what it might be like not to be able to hear the music:

One of the most incredible things music can do is bring us together. Regardless of our disagreements, we can usually find at least one song that we can enjoy together. In the film, Flora and Son,[iii] a single mom is constantly at odds with her teenage son. But after pulling a guitar out of a dumpster, they reconnect through music. And the music helps the mom find her true self. Here is the trailer for the film:

Is there someone you’d like to reconnect with, but you’re unsure how to go about it? Try music, for “Where words fail, music speaks” (Hans Christian Andersen). Regardless, let’s take the advice of Oliver Wendell Holmes: “Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.”

Have a great listen. And sing along.

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[i] A Complete Unknown:

• Production Companies: Searchlight Pictures, Veritas Entertainment, and White Water
• Director: James Mangold
• Writers: James Mangold, Jay Cocks, and Elijah Wald
• Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Edward Norton, and Elle Fanning
• Release date: December 25, 2024

[ii] CODA:

• Production Companies: Apple Original Films, Vendôme Pictures, and Pathé Films
• Director: Sian Heder
• Writers: Sian Heder, Victoria Bedos, and Stanislas Carré de Malberg
• Starring: Emilia Jones, Marlee Matlin, and Troy Kotsur
• Release date: August 13, 2021

[iii] Flora and Son:

• Production Companies: Distressed Films, Fifth Season, and FilmNation Entertainment
• Director: John Carney
• Writer: John Carney
• Starring: Eve Hewson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Orén Kinlan
• Release date: September 29, 2023