As a high school senior, I had to select an elective class to complete my schedule. I chose Sociology not because I had much interest in the subject, but because the teacher was somewhat attractive, and I discovered that a young woman I had a secret crush on was taking the class. But once the class started, I found the subject matter fascinating. I even got to talk to that secret crush every day. True to (my) form, nothing developed between the girl and me. And fifty years later, at our high school reunion, the woman of my teenage dreams didn’t even recognize me. Of course, I had hair back in high school and now sport a goatee. But I digress. 

One day, my Sociology class took a field trip to the state mental hospital. It was just like in some of the movies I had seen. There were individuals in padded rooms, from which we could only observe them through a window. Others were walking around mumbling to themselves, oblivious to us as if we didn’t exist. Others were so heavily sedated that they couldn’t get out of bed.

As the class walked down the hall, my friend standing next to me exclaimed, “Blah!”

Blah? What did that mean, I thought.

I then saw a young boy about twelve years old run up and hug my friend. They embraced for a long moment, gently rocking back and forth. Then my friend turned and introduced me to him. “This is my cousin, Blah,” he said.

And Blah gave me a hug. I was unsure what I was supposed to do, so I just hugged him back.

I turned to my friend after the boy let go of me. “This is your cousin? And his name is Blah?”

“That’s his nickname,” he explained. “We call him that because when he started to talk, that was all he said.”

Blah stood staring at me with a massive grin on his face. I realized that was the first time I had ever met a person with Down syndrome. And I wondered what he was doing in a place like this?

Fortunately, we have come a long way from the days when we routinely locked away individuals with Down syndrome in state mental hospitals.

About one child in 700 born in the United States has Down syndrome, with the chances of having a baby with Down syndrome going up as the age of the mother increases. It results when a fertilized egg in the womb ends up with three copies of chromosome 21 instead of the usual two. Although no two children with Down syndrome are exactly alike, physically, children with Down syndrome often take longer to sit, talk, and walk. Intellectually, they frequently struggle with focusing, remembering, learning, and making decisions. Life expectancy for those with Down syndrome has increased from just nine years in 1900, to 28 years in 1984, to over sixty years today. But with the increase in life expectancy, their rates of Alzheimer’s and dementia have increased disproportionately compared to the general population.  

I hadn’t thought of that experience at the state mental hospital for decades, but the memories came flooding back after I watched the movie Where Hope Grows[i] (currently streaming on Netflix). It is the story of a washed-up baseball player whose career is cut short because of alcoholism, who turns his life around due to an unlikely friendship with a young man (nicknamed “Produce”) with Down syndrome who works in the produce department of the local grocery store.  Here is the trailer for the film:

I agree and disagree with the line from the movie stating that someone with Down syndrome is “the same as you and me.” They are like us in that they are human with unique personalities, challenges, and needs. But most of us don’t have that “magical happiness” that those with Down syndrome possess. It’s hard to remain depressed while around them. Or as Produce says, “I’m good. Even when I’m bad, I’m good.” If you haven’t seen the film, I recommend doing so; it will touch your heart and lift your spirits.

But not all movies with characters who have Down syndrome are “happily ever after.” Actual events inspired Any Day Now[ii] (currently streaming on Prime Video) and tells the story of a gay couple’s attempt, in the 1970s, to retain custody of an abandoned child with Down syndrome. Here is the trailer for the film:

I couldn’t agree more with these words of Ray about Marco (the teenager with Down syndrome): “Marco didn’t ask to be born to a junkie, didn’t ask to be different, didn’t ask for none of this. And I just don’t see why he should be punished for the stuff that ain’t his fault.” However, we all know that life isn’t fair, and despite Marco’s wish for a story with a happy ending, in this case, it doesn’t come to pass.

If those with Down syndrome didn’t ask to be born that way, should we change it if we could? Scientists in Japan have recently used gene editing to target and remove the extra chromosome, without disrupting the other functions of the cell. We are a long way from the actual treatment of Down syndrome, but it is a remarkable first step. Some might argue that these are steps that shouldn’t be taken, as Down syndrome is an integral part of the person’s identity, not a disease that needs to be cured. But it is at least something we should discuss.

Until the day when we might be able to change Down syndrome, let’s drop the negative stereotypes and appreciate those with it for the people they are and learn from their exceptional gifts of love and happiness. I mean, couldn’t all of us use a hug? A restaurant owner with Down syndrome, Tim Harris, loves giving hugs to customers.  As he describes it, “My favorite part of the work day is giving out the free Tim Hugs. They are on my menu, and most people order at least one. So far, I’ve given out nearly 40,000 hugs. I even have a counter on the wall to keep track of the total. I guess you can say I’m a lean, mean, hugging machine.”

The world would be a much better place if we had more lean, mean hugging machines. And remember, friends don’t count chromosomes.

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[i] Where Hope Grows:

• Production Companies: Godspeed Pictures, Stealth Tiger Entertainment, and Attic Light Films
• Director: Chris Dowling
• Writer: Chris Dowling
• Starring: Kristopher Polaha, David DeSanctis, and McKaley Miller
• Release date: May 15, 2015

[ii] Any Day Now:

• Production Company: PMF Pictures
• Director: Travis Fine
• Writers: Travis Fine and George Arthur Bloom
• Starring: Alan Cumming, Garret Dillahunt, and Isaac Leyva
• Release date: September 6, 2013