(Or How To Be the Hero of Your Own Story)

My wife and I recently watched the touching documentary Super/man: The Christopher Reeve Story.[i]    Christopher Reeve, of course, played Superman in the 1978 movie Superman and its three sequels.  In 1995, Reeve fell off his horse during an equestrian competition, leaving him paralyzed from the neck down. He was in a wheelchair and on a ventilator for the rest of his life. Out of coincidence, I started a new book the very night I had watched the documentary, and in the first chapter, a woman fell off her horse and remained in a coma for over a month. Note to self: leave horseback riding to others!

After his accident, Reeve spent the rest of his life advocating for people with disabilities. He pushed for stem cell research and better insurance coverage. He established the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation with his wife, Dana, which has given more than $140 million to research and more than $44 million in quality-of-life grants.

Here is the trailer for the documentary:

Here is what Reeve said about heroes:

“What is a hero? My answer was that a hero is someone who commits a courageous action without considering the consequences. Now, my definition is completely different. I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

Reeve was one of those heroes; so was his wife, Dana. After his accident, Reeve said to Dana, “Maybe we should let me go.” Dana tearfully replied, “I will support whatever you want to do because this is your life and your decision. But I want you to know that I’ll be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You’re still you. And I love you.” And that is exactly what she did.

The movie White Bird[ii] tells the story of a young teenager who fits both Christopher Reeve’s definitions of a hero. Julien is disabled and so teased and bullied by his classmates. But he takes it all in stride, returning the bullying with kindness. When the Nazis take over his town and begin rounding up Jews for the death camps, Jullien hides a Jewish classmate Sara in his barn. Here is the trailer for the film:

Although the story is fictional, the history of World War II is replete with similar tales. The young actor who plays Sara in the film discovered that she had an ancestor whom a family hid in their barn in Holland during the war.

But heroes are not just found in movies. If we look around us, we see heroes every day. Here are a few of those:

Doctors, nurses, and other humanitarian aid workers who risk their lives every day in war-torn Ukraine, Gaza, Lebanon, and Syria.

Fathers and mothers who go to work every day at jobs they don’t particularly enjoy to put food on the table and roofs over the heads of their families.

The men and women in the military who put their lives on the line so you and I can enjoy our freedom.

A little closer to home, family members struggling with mental illness, alcoholism, and depression who fight every day to keep going.

And finally, Santa Claus.

Yes, Santa Claus. I love Santa Claus, but not just because of the great presents he brings me every year. I love Santa because he does wonderful things for me and you because he loves us and wants us to be happy, not because he expects anything from us in return.  Santa wants it that way. Even though we might like to do something nice for Santa in return for what he gives us, what can we really do? He performs his service in the middle of the night after we have gone to bed. We would never have known he had been there if we hadn’t found the presents under the tree or in our stockings on Christmas morning. We sometimes make a meager effort to thank him in the only way we can think of—by leaving him some milk and cookies by the fireplace on Christmas Eve, but that pales in comparison to what he does for us, literally working all year long to bring us some happiness one day of the year. And judging by the pictures of Santa I’ve seen, he probably could do without all those cookies and milk.

By being more like Santa, we can become a hero. How do we do that? I Have three suggestions:

1.         Love and serve others in secret. First, like Santa, render your service without show or fanfare. The quiet, behind-the-scenes acts of love are typically the most genuine. If you don’t believe in Santa Claus, perhaps you believe in the person Christmas is supposed to be about. Jesus Christ taught, “But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret himself, shall reward thee openly. [KJV Matthew 6:3-4.]

2.         Be concerned about the sinner, not the sin. Santa keeps a naughty or nice list, but he usually brings us something regardless of which list we are on. Christ said it this way: “Judge not that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but not the beam that is in thine own eye?  [KJV Matthew 7:1-3.]

3.         Make it personal. Go beyond the minimum required by getting to know the people you serve.  People realize when they are little more than a project, when you are doing little more than going through the motions.  And whatever you do, try to make your efforts personal to the gift’s receiver.  No one gets very excited about a gift that is just like everyone else’s.

Love all those around you, when they deserve it, but especially when they don’t.  In the words of the Savior again: “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.  [KJV Matthew 5: 43-44.]

In closing, I have a couple of heroes I need to honor. As many of you know, we lost a son to mental illness earlier in the year. He left behind a wife and six children, ages six to eighteen.  The loss of a husband, father, breadwinner, and foundation of a family would be enough to cripple most people. But I have watched our daughter-in-law carry on repeatedly, keeping the family from falling apart and honoring our son despite his weakness. To me, she is an absolute hero.

But she has not had to do it alone. Family and friends have rallied around her and the children with love and support. But there is one (maybe several?) hero that I have to specifically mention because they have exemplified what Santa and Christ have tried to teach us about love and kindness. Several times since our son’s death, the family has opened the door to their home to find a gift basket for each family member. The baskets are individual for each recipient, and the contents have been chosen carefully. But the best part? They have been given anonymously.  

Each of us will face some dark times in our lives. In those times, I hope we can remember these words from White Bird:

“When in dark times, those small things [acts of love] remind us of our humanity.”

“You forget many things in life, but you never forget kindness. Because when kindness can cost you your life, it becomes like a miracle.”

I thank all those heroes in my life who, through their kindness, have shown me that miracles can still happen.

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[i] Super/man: The Christopher Reeve Story:

• Production Companies: DC Studios, HBO Documentaries, and CNN Films
• Directors: Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui
• Screenwriters: Ian Bonhôte, Otto Burnham, and Peter Ettedgui
• Starring: Christopher Reeve, Will Reeve, and Alexandra Reeve Givens
• Release date: December 7, 2024

[ii] White Bird:

• Production Companies: Lionsgate, Participant, and Kingdom Story Company
• Director: Marc Forester
• Screenwriters: Mark Bomback and R. J. Palacio
• Starring: Ariella Glaser, Orlando Schwerdt, and Gillian Anderson
• Release date: October 4, 2024