[This blog post contains spoiler alerts about two recent movies, Conclave and Heretic. You might want to do so if you haven’t seen the films before reading this post.]

I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which used to be commonly known as the Mormon Church. In this post, I will refer to it simply as the “Church.” From a young age, I had doubts about the Church’s claim to be the restoration of the church established by Jesus Christ while on earth and, therefore, “The only true and living church on the face of the earth.” My doubts led me even to question the existence of God—at least the God that I had been taught about all my life, who seemed to answer prayers randomly, if at all, and didn’t like some of his creations very much (read non-white races, non-Christians, LGBTQ, etc.). Although I technically remain a member of record, I no longer regularly attend. That said, I still believe there is good in the Church, and most of its members are lovely, caring people. Accordingly, I don’t criticize anyone who remains active in the Church—or any other church. I just determined, late in life, that the Church was not for me.

In 2013, a leader in the Church gave a talk in which he told members to “First doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.”

But I found that easier said than done.

I recently watched Conclave.[i] It is the story of how the cardinals of the Catholic church must choose a new pope, or as they refer to him, “The most famous man in the world.” Here is the trailer for the film:

I related to the Dean of Cardinal’s speech about thirty minutes into the film, where he says, in part:

“Let me speak from the heart for a moment…. Certainty is the great enemy of unity. Certainty is the deadly enemy of tolerance…. If there were only certainty and no doubt, there would be no mystery and, therefore, no need for faith. Let us pray that God will grant us a pope who doubts.”

The rest of the movie shows how the conservative and liberal factions seek to garner votes for a cardinal who supports their viewpoint. Naturally, I saw many parallels with our recent Presidential election, as the liberals sought to make the church more inclusive while the conservatives sought to make it great again.

I also saw parallels between Conclave and the Church. When the Church’s current leader dies, his replacement results from seniority rather than an election. The Church’s leader is considered a prophet who is God’s mouthpiece here on earth, and Church leaders give the impression that any changes in the Church are the result of direct revelation from God to His prophet. But a new book, Second Class Saints: Black Mormons and the Struggle for Racial Equality by historian Matt Harris, reveals that the Church operates more like the Catholic Church when issuing its latest revelation than the prophets we read about in scripture. For example, up until 1978, the Church banned male members of Black descent from holding the priesthood (women have never been ordained to the priesthood). The Church removed the ban in 1978 and portrayed it as a direct revelation from God. However, Second-Class Saints illustrates how the Church leaders acted more like a corporate board of directors, taking individual positions on an issue until a consensus was reached after discussion and cajoling. The lifting of the ban took so long because it took over a decade before the Church’s First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles could reach a unanimous consensus.

Let’s return to doubt and look closer at Heretic,[ii] where Mr. Reed (played by Hugh Grant) traps two sister missionaries from the Church. When I first heard about the premise behind Heretic, I thought of my own Church mission in Australia. My companions and I spent about two-thirds of our time knocking on doors, looking for people interested in the Church. One man, Mr. Coots, agreed to let us come back and show him a filmstrip (those were videos before anyone had invented videos). When we went back to show him the filmstrip, Mr. Coots answered, and without even saying hello, he told us we had five minutes to get off his property and slammed the door.

Being the smart aleck that I am, I turned to my companion and said, “Well, I guess we still have four and a half minutes left. What should we do?” I don’t know if Mr. Coots heard me, but as we started to walk away, the door flew open, and Mr. Coots walked out, loading his shotgun. I just smiled and said, “Goodnight!”

I also thought of two missionaries in Austin, Texas, who returned to a house to teach a man the gospel. That man trapped the missionaries in his garage and murdered them. In short, the premise behind Heretic is not so far-fetched.

In Heretic, Mr. Reed invites two sister missionaries into his home and challenges their beliefs. But it’s not just their belief in the Church; he challenges all religions as made-up stories to explain the unexplainable. Reed points out, for example, that many Bible stories were tales borrowed from other cultures. It was as if I were reading a Richard Dawkins book. Here is one thought-provoking scene from the film:

Interestingly, the doors marked “Belief” and “Disbelief” both lead to the same dungeon where Mr. Reed has kept several of his other victims. In Reed’s mind, the only true religion is power and control over others, and if we follow a religion—any religion, even atheism—we are allowing ourselves to be controlled. I recognized some of that in my own life. The Church told me what to believe and how to act. It told me what to eat and drink through its Word of Wisdom. It even told me what underwear I needed and when I could and could not take it off. I remember one of the Church’s Apostles teaching me in connection with agency, “You can choose to keep the commandments, or you can choose to be damned.” Sure, I was free to choose to disobey, but who wanted to be damned?

But Heretic and life is more nuanced than that. Even when I stopped attending the Church, my lifestyle changed little. I still wanted to be a good person and keep my values. I still strive to be honest in all my dealings. I still try to love my neighbor as I love myself. Some may argue that the Church I was raised in is still controlling me. But I don’t buy that. I choose to be kind, for example, not because I fear punishment from God but because of how it makes me and others feel and how it deepens connections between us, which, to me, is the source of joy.

I found the sister missionaries in Heretic to be fascinating characters. Sister Barnes is a convert to the Church, so I expected her to have street smarts because she has seen the world both in and out of the Church. On the other hand, Sister Paxton appears naïve and, at first blush, seems to believe only because she was raised in the Church and knows nothing else. But Sister Paxton turns out to be cagier than she first appears. She is the one who suggests they use the “Disbelief” door to escape, probably because she thinks that is the door Mr. Reed wants them to choose. Later, she admits that science proves prayer doesn’t work, but she chooses to pray anyway. Why? Because it is an act of reaching out to support others in need.

In the end, Mr. Reed slashes the throat of Sister Barnes. He is about to do the same to Sister Paxton when Sister Barnes magically rises from the dead and saves Sister Paxton by attacking Mr. Reed with a wooden plank with nails sticking out its end. Was Sister Barnes not quite dead yet? Did God return her to life long enough to save Sister Paxton? The symbolism of Christ is evident to those who want to believe. The makers of the film wanted the movie to be ambiguous regarding what they wanted the audience to believe. That’s where the mystery comes in. And that, according to Conclave, is where faith comes in.  

We often go to the movies to escape reality—to be entertained by a made-up world. But if you want two thought-provoking films, I highly recommend Conclave and Heretic.  

Unlike Mr. Reed, I do not believe religion has to be binary. It doesn’t have to be all true or all false. Any religion or belief that makes us more principled, kind, and loving people cannot be bad. I also disagree with Mr. Reed that the only true religion is control. Instead, I agree with James in the Bible, where he says in James 1:27, “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (KJV)

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, may we all learn to love and respect others—those who believe like us and especially those who believe differently. More importantly, let us lift those in need, or, as Dr. Wayne Dyer said: “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”

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[i] Conclave:

• Production Companies: Indian Paintbrush, Access Entertainment, and FilmNation Entertainment
• Director: Edward Berger
• Screenwriters: Peter Straughan and Robert Harris
• Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, and John Lithgow
• Release date: October 25, 2024

[ii] Heretic:

• Production Companies: A24, Beck Woods, Shiny Penny
• Directors: Scott Beck and Bryan Woods
• Screenwriters: Scott Beck and Bryan Woods
• Starring: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, and Chloe East
• Release date: November 8, 2024