We have all heard that line in movies. Some of us have heard it from friends or family members. A few of us might have said it ourselves. And sometimes, those who have said it won’t even use the “A” word but instead call themselves a heavy drinker to avoid the stigma attached to alcoholism. But regardless of what you call it, the effects of heavy drinking can be disastrous and even result in death—to the drinker and those around them.
I had direct contact once with a person driving under the influence of alcohol. I was on a business trip. Four to dinner one evening. On the highway back to our hotel, our driver suddenly yelled, “Hold on tight! This car is going to hit us!” And hit us, it did. I looked out the window in time to see a full-sized Cadillac approaching us, crossing the yellow highway dividing line and bashing into our car. The driver appeared to make no effort to stop. Fortunately, three of us were not hurt seriously. But the fourth passenger went into shock. Later, her doctor diagnosed her with a severe brain injury. She went on disability and, to my knowledge, never worked again.
The police investigating the crash told us what had happened. The driver of the Cadillac had been drinking at a bar further down the highway. He was getting noticeably drunk, so the bartender refused to serve him anymore. He left that bar and headed for the next one down the road. When he hit our vehicle, he saw that bar on our right and was turning into its parking lot. Unfortunately, he was so focused on the bar that he failed to see us. And, as is typical with drunk drivers, the crash left him unhurt.
In 2018, an estimated 14.8 million people in the United States were diagnosed with alcohol use disorders, yet only around 4.6 percent of them sought treatment. The World Health Organization estimated there were 283 million people with alcohol use disorders worldwide as of 2016. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates the U.S. economy loses $179 billion each year due to alcohol-related decreases in workplace productivity. And alcohol can hit your personal checkbook. For example, if a person followed the recommendations of the Dietary Guidelines for Americans (meaning one daily drink for women and two for men) and your drink of choice is a 5-ounce glass of wine costing $20 per bottle, a woman would spend $1,456 on alcohol each year; a man would pay $2,912 annually. Of course, heavy drinkers imbibe much more than these dietary recommendations. And if you happen to drink and drive, Forbes estimates a typical DUI will cost you $20,000 (and possibly jail time).
Why do people drink alcohol to excess even after experiencing adverse consequences? It might be as simple as Ernest Hemingway once said, “I drink to make other people more interesting.” Or, writer Charles Bukowski said it this way, “That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens, you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens, you drink to make something happen.”
More times than not, heavy drinkers turn to alcohol to self-medicate in response to stress, trauma, or anxiety in their lives. Some might drink solely from boredom. And it often is a combination of nurture and nature. Although there is no such thing as a single alcohol gene, a person with a parent or sibling with an alcohol use disorder is three to four times more likely to develop an alcohol use disorder themselves.
But it’s much more complicated than genetics. Caroline Knapp, writer of the memoir Drinking: A Love Story, described it this way:
“Trying to describe the process of becoming an alcoholic is like trying to describe air. It’s too big and, mysterious and pervasive to be defined. Alcohol is everywhere in your life, omnipresent, and you’re both aware and unaware of it almost all the time. All you know is you’d die without it, and there is no simple reason why this happens, no single moment, no physiological event that pushes a heavy drinker across the concrete line into alcoholism. It’s a slow, gradual, insidious, elusive becoming.”
The film Rocketman[i] is the story of Elton John’s battle with addiction, and it wasn’t just alcohol. In the opening scene, John tells us: “My name is Elton Hercules John. And I’m an alcoholic. And a cocaine addict. And a sex addict. And a bulimic. I’m also a shopaholic who has problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.” Wow!
Elton John’s problems began in early childhood when his parents, particularly his father, showed him little love. Those problems intensified as he realized he was gay at a time when it was considered a perverted choice. And all the fame and fortune didn’t compensate for that lack of love and acceptance, especially by and of himself.
Elton John did not get better until he confronted his demons. Here is the scene from the film:
Through taking on his demons, John finally accepted himself for who he is, even that little boy Reginald Dwight, where all his problems began.
A favorite scene from the movie is when Bernie Taupin, who had been Elton’s lyricist for decades, visits Elton as he is about to leave rehab. Here is the dialogue between them:
Elton: I’m scared, Bernie. What if I’m not as good without the drink and the drugs?
Bernie: You know that’s not true. You’re not scared you’re not good without it; you’re scared to feel again. You might be able to lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.
Elton John has been sober for over 33 years and counting—although he admits he still has issues with shopping. After he left rehab, Elton set up his Aids charity from a kitchen table. He has raised over $450 million and helps people living with HIV/AIDS all over the world. But perhaps best of all, Elton was able to find real love. He and his partner have been married for 30 years and have two sons.
My family has a genetic predisposition to abuse alcohol. One family member acknowledged his heavy drinking but sought to be “a functioning alcoholic.” For a while, he was able to keep his job and function well enough to get by. However, the heavy alcohol use started to affect him physically to the point where he could no longer perform his job requirements. He began having bouts of acute pancreatitis, neuropathy in his legs, liver issues, and anxiety attacks.
The film Flight[ii] is a fictional account of a commercial pilot who was drunk almost every time he flew. But he was a good enough pilot to function well enough to keep his drinking problem a secret. For years, he flew without incident (a functional alcoholic!), but eventually, it caught up with him when, in mid-flight, his plane experienced mechanical difficulties. He miraculously landed the plane, averting a major disaster (still a functioning alcoholic!). The public heralded him as a hero. However, the NTSB’s investigation determined a crew member had a blood alcohol level of .24 (a level of .08 makes you legally intoxicated). Rather than casting blame on another crew member, the hero pilot admitted he was drunk while piloting the plane. Even though the physical evidence showed faulty equipment from poor maintenance was the root cause of the accident, the courts found him criminally negligent (four passengers and two crew members out of 102 lost their lives) and sentenced him to prison. Here is the closing scene from the movie:
Before retirement, I worked as a lawyer, a profession known for its excessive use of alcohol and drugs. A 2016 study by the American Bar Association found that one in five lawyers are problem drinkers. That’s more than twice the national rate. But the vast majority of them show up for work every day, hoping to be functional alcoholics—although most would never admit that’s what they are.
Brian Cuban was one of those lawyers. He is now in recovery and the author of The Addicted Lawyer: Tales of the Bar, Booze, and Redemption. He admits he would regularly turn up for work drunk and do a few lines of cocaine to be able to function. “I was doing coke in the bathroom in the morning to recover from hangovers. Cocaine got me back on focus.” Brian Cuban worked for his brother Mark (yes, that Mark Cuban), who threatened to fire him if he didn’t get clean. Brian responded, “I kept thinking: ‘I’m not going to rehab. I’m a lawyer, lawyers don’t go to rehab, they aren’t in 12-step programs.’ Of course, half the people I know in my 12-step program are lawyers.”
I obtained my General Counsel position as a result of a lawyer with a drinking problem. She did her job for years, but the alcohol finally caught up with her, and the company ultimately had to terminate her employment. They hired me as her replacement.
I worked with another lawyer at a different company who knew he would become an alcoholic if he didn’t actively try to control his drinking. So, he committed to having only two drinks a night after work. A drink at any other time was strictly off-limits. During the period I worked with him (about a year), he appeared to keep that commitment. But I worried if it would last. Like most drugs, over time, it takes more and more drinks to get the same effect from the alcohol you are looking for. Thus, it is almost impossible to remain a functional alcoholic over an extended period.
I hope all this doesn’t sound judgmental coming from a person who doesn’t drink. For years, I didn’t drink because of my religion. I no longer am a practicing member of that religion, but I still choose not to drink. Why? At various times throughout my life, I have dabbled with alcohol, but I have only been drunk once. And I wouldn’t say I liked it. Rather than enjoying any dopamine rush or the freeing of inhibitions, I dreaded the feeling of not being in control. I decided then and there that I never wanted to be drunk again. It wasn’t worth it—at least to me. I am so grateful for that experience.
There is hope for those with alcohol use disorder. The most popular program is the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are drugs to help with the cravings and withdrawal. Counseling can help a person discover the root causes of their addiction and help the patient deal with those root causes. Regardless of the treatment a person might choose, we need to remember it is a disease, primarily out of the control of the sufferer.
My family member, who is battling alcohol use disorder, is diligently trying to get his drinking under control. He needs to stop (or at least severely cut back) to improve his physical health. And I would argue he needs to stop to improve his mental health as well. It is a tough battle, and the odds are not in his favor, but I am confident he can do it as he relies on our strong family ties. He is making good progress, and I am immensely proud of him. A fellow family member recently remarked how much better he looked and acted, even after only a month of almost total sobriety.
His battle can be summed up in this poem by Chinmay Kumar Choudhury:
A grip so tight, it binds within,
Alcoholism, more than just a sin.
A struggle deep, it consumes the soul,
A battle fought, to gain control.
If you or someone you love is suffering from the disease of alcohol use disorder, please get the help you or they need. Do it now, before it’s too late.
[i] Rocketman:
- Production Companies: Paramount Pictures, New Republic Pictures, and Marv Films
- Director: Dexter Fletcher
- Screenwriter: Lee Hall
- Starring: Taron Eggerton, Jamie Bell, and Richard Madden
- Release Date: May 31, 2019
[ii] Flight:
- Production Companies: Paramount Pictures, ImageMovers, and Parkes/MacDonald Image Nation
- Director: Robert Zemeckis
- Screenwriter: John Gatins
- Starring: Denzel Washington, Nadine Velazquez, Don Cheadle
- Release Date: November 2, 2012
Life Lessons Through Film 