Emilie Ford once said, “It’s like you have two brains, a rational brain and an irrational brain. And they’re constantly fighting.” She was talking about obsessive-compulsive disorder.

As many of you know, May is mental health awareness month. With family members suffering from depression and bipolar disorder, I have learned a lot through the years about dealing with those mental diseases. And they are diseases, just as much as cancer or diabetes. Those who suffer from mental illnesses can’t help it. They shouldn’t be shamed or stigmatized. And telling them to “just buck up” isn’t helpful; it’s no different from telling a cancer patient to “just kill the bad cells.”

This month, I have tried to broaden my awareness of mental illnesses by looking into obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD. According to the Mayo Clinic, a person with OCD has obsessions, compulsions, or both. OCD obsessions are unwanted thoughts that you can’t get out of your head that cause distress and anxiety. They usually intrude when you’re trying to think of or do other things. OCD compulsions are repetitive behaviors that you feel driven to do. These repetitive behaviors are intended to reduce the anxiety related to your obsessions, but they rarely bring pleasure and only limited, if any, relief from the stress. These compulsions are beyond reason and often don’t even relate to the issue they are intended to fix. But as I always say, in connection with mental illness, the phobia is irrational, but the pain is real.

Most of us know someone who is suffering from OCD. They are the ones who are fixated on germs and wash their hands incessantly. Or, everything has to be neat and in a particular order. We often think of these people as quirky or even cute. But it is more than that. Much more. Washing your hands over and over and over again until they are raw and bleeding is not just quirky. Checking doors over and over and over again to make sure they are locked is more than just being cute. These compulsions are debilitating, and although intended to ease the sufferer’s obsessive thoughts, they rarely do. Instead, the person’s thoughts continue to spiral down in a parade of horribles until they can barely function. Or, as J.J. Keeler describes it, “OCD is not a disease that bothers; it is a disease that tortures.”

You say you don’t know anyone suffering from OCD? Perhaps you are familiar with these celebrities who suffer from it: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Howie Mandel, Cameron Diaz, David Beckham, Charlize Theron, Penelope Cruz, Charlie Sheen, and Alec Baldwin, to name just a few.

The recent movie Turtles All the Way Down[i] is a terrific depiction of someone suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is based on the young adult book of the same name written by John Green, and he should know, as he suffers from OCD. Aza Holmes (played by Isabela Merced) is obsessed with the microbes inhabiting her body. She can’t get her mind off them to the point that they all but wreck her budding romance with Davis (played by Felix Mallard). I mean, how can she even kiss the guy and allow all the microbes in his mouth to invade her body? Here is the trailer for the film:

As Aza describes it, imagine being stuck in your head all the time with no way out. Turtles All the Way Down is currently streaming on Max.

One of the more famous sufferers of OCD was Howard Hughes. The Aviator[ii]tells his life story and stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes. DiCaprio, a fellow sufferer of OCD, intentionally allowed his OCD to worsen during the filming to make his portrayal of Hughes more realistic. Mission accomplished, as evidenced by this scene from the film:

I grew up in a high-demand religion that encouraged its members to strive for perfection. I am all for bettering oneself, but if the goal is perfection and we fall short, which all of us eventually will, what is the result? It could lead to a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder known as scrupulosity. Stated simply, scrupulosity is fear of not being good enough. It usually manifests itself in a religious or moral setting.

Psychologist Debra Theobald McClendon explains it this way:

“For members of the [Mormon] Church with scrupulosity, obsessive-compulsive anxiety bullies its way into their religious life by relentlessly plaguing them with pathological, toxic guilt and inducing them to believe that this guilt comes from the Spirit. As a result, elements of personal worship get hijacked by the anxiety. Prayer, scripture study, and church and temple attendance often no longer bring feelings of peace or a connection with the Spirit because they are generally done out of fear of punishment and create feelings of condemnation. Religious focus tends to become narrow and trivial; religious practice gets extreme; and behaviors such as praying and confessing become repetitive, persistent, and unwanted compulsions that cause a lot of distress.”

Whether full-blown scrupulosity or just feelings of inadequacy, many members of the Church don’t feel like they measure up. Speaking to that issue, Patricia Holland, at the time the president of the women’s group of the Church, said to the women of the Church:

“[T]he Lord has created us with different personalities, as well as differing degrees of energy, interest, health, talent, and opportunity…. We should celebrate these divine differences, knowing they are a gift from God. We must not feel so frightened, so threatened and insecure; we must not need to find exact replicas of ourselves in order to feel validated as women of worth…. We can become so sidetracked in our compulsive search for identity and self-esteem that we really believe it can be found in having perfect figures or academic degrees or professional status, or even absolute motherly success. Yet, in so searching externally, we can be torn from our true internal, eternal selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our uniqueness – that full and relaxed acceptance of one’s self as a person of worth and individuality.”

So, what should we do if we suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder or its subset, scrupulosity? As with all illnesses, especially those affecting our mental health, remember that we can rarely cure ourselves. The most effective treatment is a combination of medication and psychotherapy. And if you suffer from scrupulosity, remember that ecclesiastical leaders are not professionally trained mental health experts. But keep in mind that most people suffering from OCD are never fully cured. However, with professional help, the symptoms can be controlled sufficiently to live a productive life.

If you know someone suffering from OCD, encourage them to get the help they need without judgment or shame. Most of all, love them, for as Aza’s best friend Daisy in Turtles All the Way Down tells her, “You’re the most fascinating person I’ve ever known. I love you.”

---

[i] Turtles All the Way Down:

• Production Companies: Temple Hill Entertainment and New Line Cinema
• Director: Hannah Marks
• Screenwriters: John Green, Elizabeth Berger, and Isaac Aptaker
• Starring: Isabela Merced, Cree, and Judy Reyes
• Release date: May 2, 2024

[ii] The Aviator:

• Production Companies: Forward Pass, Appian Way, IMF Internationale Medien und Film GmbH & Co. 3.Produktions KG
• Director: Martin Scorsese
• Screenwriter: John Logan
• Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cate Blanchett, and Kate Beckinsale
• Release date: December 25, 2004